Ep 111: From cesarean to unassisted homebirth: four birth stories with Jessica

It’s always an honor and such a treat when moms share their birth stories on the podcast.  Today Dr. Shannon chats with Jessica Patterson about her four different births.  To hear how each birth unfolded, how she created her birth support team, what research she did for each birth, and how her last birth was an unassisted homebirth, will leave you inspired, empowered, and informed!!  We discuss:

• Her first birth and what led to her unplanned cesarean
• How she went from cesarean to homebirth (3 times!)
• Who was on her birth support team and how her team changed with each birth
• How her husband reacted to each birth
• What she learned from each of these births
• How her last birth ended up as an unassisted homebirth
• Her words of wisdom for expecting moms (you don’t want to miss what she has to say!)

Resources:

Episode 15: Inside Look with Home Birth Midwife Rachel Hart

Christian Hypnobirthing 

Transcript

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Unknown 0:00

Hello, hello, you are listening to the aligned birth podcast. I am Dr. Shannon Shannon. I'm one of the hosts of the show and today is a birth story interview day. I'm super, super excited that we've got Jessica Patterson with us today. And I'm gonna go ahead and give you like show title what we're talking about, but we're talking about her verse from Syrian to unassisted home birth So, super awesome. She definitely had a Syrian with her first and now she has four kiddos. So we've had three of those after cesarean birth at home and so that's what we're going to chat about about today. I've got lots of questions for her because I want to know, the why the how, how did it happen? Why did you want to do this? How did you support yourself? You know, all of those things. How did you create that verse support team what led you on that journey? She's really big into health and wellness. And fitness. She does CrossFit a bunch too. And I know her personally because her Chiropractor Dr. Pamela stem McCoy is like is my chiropractic mentor. So it's really nice to have her on the show today. Now there's a couple of other show updates. Remember, we've got our newsletter that is out you can sign up for that in the show notes that'll be linked here. And then we have lots of ways that you can help support the show as well too. And so just feel free to check out the show notes. And look at all the options there to help us keep putting out this really awesome and fun content. So, again, I'm really really excited to chat with you today. Jessica, welcome to the show.

Unknown 1:32

I'm excited to be a part of this. Thank you for having me.

Unknown 1:36

I know I was so excited because you just recently had this fourth baby. And so seeing that and then this fourth one was the unassisted pet at home. I was like we've got to get like we've had all the all the types of earth here. You know, like we have got to have you on the show and chat about all of that. But I'm involved with this too, because I like where do we where do we start so I kind of want to take it back to the beginning. of it with that first birth. And so that was your cesarean and I want to know, because I know I'm pretty open on the show and talked about my cesarean as well as far as like I had a cascade of interventions, but that's not always the case for everyone that has, you know, a cesarean birth so what um, yeah, what led to that Syrian first time around and how was that first birth experience?

Unknown 2:31

Absolutely. I would say Mine's probably similar to yours the cascade of intervention. I just had a typical OB advocate a typical OB practice. I didn't know any different I honestly don't even know if I knew homebirth was a thing, you know. But so my water broke. And of course immediately went to the hospital because that's what you do. And then I'm on their clock is 23rd Two days before Christmas. Come to find so when I went to the hospital, it was not my OB who was a call, I guess. If your only is an oncology you just get whoever and so the OB that I got, I had never met before. He didn't know me. I didn't know her. And of course at that time, I did not have the knowledge of pregnancy labor, but none of it I just figured everybody does it. You know? What's going to be to know the doctors will tell me everything. So I didn't know this. But come to find out. December 23 was her birthday. And so now looking back like I can see that it's so close to Christmas with the fourth day. You probably didn't want to be there. And I don't want to make hospital births all of that there's not a they can be great. I think if I would have come into it with a little bit more knowledge, maybe it wouldn't have turned out the same but it is what it is and it's led me here and I'm thankful for it. But that's

Unknown 4:10

the thing and I say that a lot with my two it's like yes, it's the shoulda, coulda, woulda is but that it also led you on that path for you know, super empowerment later on. So no, and I'm glad you mentioned that

Unknown 4:25

cascade of intervention. My water had broke one thing that I am very good about was that that OB at one point was just going to check me at my cervix which again, now I know I would have rather not had that but at the time it is in when she was up in there she went in and what my marrying without asking, suggesting, telling anything. I just did it and it was very painful. I have no idea what happened. So I remember asking her I said, You know what kind of what level of pain was that compared to real labor and she's like, Oh, that was nothing so then I'm scared and I end up getting the epidural and blah, blah, blah, the cascade of interventions like you said. And I think she was like, Well, it's time for a C section. And I remember asking her I said can I just try a little bit longer and she said you've been in labor for six hours and now I look yeah. Yeah, that's nothing. Yeah. But he's here and he's healthy. My big boy so and oh, I will say I do remember this because each of my homebirth midwives recorded my records that I said to the babies, so I can't I have this of my oldest was more my definition. You know, they take it you they show him to you and then they take them out there and wipe them down and all that and I remember hearing him cry, and I did not feel a connection. I said that is not my Wyatt. That's not my baby. And that's really sad. But it makes sense. We did go through the whole birthing process and so there was that kind of there. And then with each of my home birth, I have I know exactly what I said with each one and it's a much more positive, loving comment.

Unknown 6:26

Yeah, I that's interesting. You mentioned that because even I remember with my V back and I had two hospital births, but with my V back I'm what I said was like, oh, that's what it was supposed to be like, and not as like a bashing statement for any sort of Syrian birth. But I guess just that when that experience is so different than maybe what you had expected, or just those interventions are so different, then yeah. You get you do get that different take on it. So that's me that I love that they have those recordings of you like okay, this is what your reaction was. So yeah, yeah. Now who was on your birth support team or did you have anybody with that? First birth?

Unknown 7:12

I had no, but just my OB and my husband, who, you know, had less knowledge than I did.

Unknown 7:19

So yeah, there was no one there. Okay. So let's see. Kind of fast forward into when you got pregnant again. And what did we do differently? Like how did you go because going from a cesarean to a hospital trying VBAC as as I think is one thing, but then going from a Syrian hospital birth to a home birth is also like, that's pretty hardcore. So I want to know, like, when did that deep dive into getting and gathering that information to make that decision? Like what what happened? Take us on that journey. Okay.

Unknown 8:05

So after my first was born, again, not very natural minded, I didn't know anything. So he had his basic vaccine, which can be a whole nother a whole other episode. It actually he had a pretty strong reaction to a vaccine. So I just started down this next journey. So by the time I got pregnant again, I knew I wanted to try for a VBAC. And you

Unknown 8:40

know so I, I did with the practice had previously been at so I found that our practice that I don't remember how I found them but believe they will be back and I was waiting for about 13 weeks and I just did not feel the support you know, they kept saying, we will try for the back. Yes, you can try. We will let him try for the back. And I just felt like an assembly line at their office. Like I would go from the station. It was weird. So I just didn't like it. I heard about the Birth Center in Atlanta, when they were doing like an open house type thing or meet the midwives. I think that's what it was called. So my husband and I went back and found out that they do not do B backs because of a law or something from the 70s Do you know I'm

Unknown 9:34

not sure the specifics of it. I just know Yeah, I know. I'm on it always, like hurts a bit. I'm like,

Unknown 9:39

Ah, yeah, I left there in tears. And then I don't remember how I started researching it. Or I guess I just I don't weird how it came up. But I started researching homebirths and local homebirth midwives and I introduced to one of them being birthing way with Beth, Beth and Rachel. You're and the other one I can't remember who it was but I decided to go with Beth and Rachel. I think my husband and I went for initial consultation so that he could ask any questions he had.

Unknown 10:22

Sometimes they'll hear that from moms like the mom really feels the pull for the home birth. Or really wanting that experience. And then sometimes mom can be on board and dad can be like, Whoa, this sounds really stressful like you know, so I love that. You included him and let him like come and ask all the questions. I think that's definitely how that should be done. And we had, we've interviewed Rachel, she's one of the midwives that we've interviewed on the show, so I'll have to link into the show notes because and I'm glad that you interviewed a couple as well because you got to kind of get a feel for it, but just in how she talks and speaks and her and Beth are so amazing. Like you get that. I don't know you get that comforting feeling. So you're like okay, I'm going to feel comfortable letting this person into this sacred birth space. So I know that's the deal. Okay, so we interviewed the homebirth midwife, and then from there, how did that go? Did you add anybody else to your birth support team and how did that change?

Unknown 11:37

Yes. So I also hired a doula. I think I actually hired my Doula before I found a home birth midwife. So I think I was planning on I mean, if I was going to be in the hospital, but then

Unknown 11:58

my doula and my midwife and the midwife, okay. And how did the How did that birth unfold?

Unknown 12:10

Okay, so that would be my first home birth was long and hard and I mean, I will admit it was scary. Just because I didn't know I don't think I was scared that something was gonna go wrong. I was. I wasn't confident in my body at that point, to know that my body could do because I hadn't experienced that and you hear even family members. I have some family members in the medical field, not even in labor and delivery, but in the medical field, you know, putting fear in my ear, in my ear and I had to towards the end, I had to stop talking. Because I didn't want that

Unknown 12:55

anywhere in my thoughts. But it's a very long Labor Act. I know what I could have been different from probably progressing a little quicker and

Unknown 13:11

but it was good. It was so it was redeeming it was the most I mean, for days, weeks after that, I was just on this high powered vehicle and he's still my second Tucker and he and I just had this connection. And I can't help but wonder if that has

Unknown 13:35

to be No, no, that makes sense. Now, what? What did you say when he was bored

Unknown 13:43

with soccer, what's worked for and I said I can't believe you're real with my first word. That says sweet.

Unknown 13:59

That is such a sweet state, but I can't believe you real well, that that kind of speaks to how different those births were for you, though, you know, and I, you know, it makes sense. I too, felt like I had failed. My body had failed with that scenario. And I know that's not we know that's not the case, right? But it's very easy to feel that way. And so I'm glad you mentioned that but I'm glad to I was glad you were sharing that we went from that scenario to the home birth and it wasn't that you were afraid of anything going wrong, but it was more of the like you really had to hone in on that trust in your body. Absolutely. Yeah. And so I loved your birth support. Team there. Now. You are under chiropractic care with the first one right?

Unknown 14:46

That was a point I meant to make. I was at the beginning and at one point, I was having continued cramping and contractions and stuff. And so I told my OB and she said to stop going to the chiropractor. And you know, because I didn't know that cramping and contraction were normal, you know, throughout pregnancy and so I listened to the doctor.

Unknown 15:10

Yeah, yeah, no, that makes sense. That makes sense. But I think it's important mentioned now with the second one are you under care with that one?

Unknown 15:20

Yeah. Okay, route the whole the whole pregnancy there. Okay.

Unknown 15:24

Yay. Um, now, I want to go into a little bit of your husband's reaction. After that second birth because obviously he's there he's at home and so he got to which that's difficult on the husband's part to see the Cesarean birth and when it can be that emergency aspect that can be very, you know, unsettling so how What was his reaction and the difference between the births

Unknown 15:56

so he was very hesitant when I brought it home. Because, like our culture, it's dangerous, something could go wrong, blah, blah, blah. So it took some we watched the business of being born together. And another documentary called Why not hold? Both very, very good. And he started to get on board and then obviously, when he came with me, to the midwife that helped a lot, and he said he kept doing his own research on his own, which I just asked him this last night, and I didn't know he did his own research. So I'm so proud of that. That's so sweet. Yeah. So he did. Give me a couple quotes if you want me to read it directly from him.

Unknown 16:45

Yes, that would be so sweet. Okay.

Unknown 16:51

And he's, he's very good with words that used to be very important. So he says, To me, the best benefits of having a home birth are the connectivity with your midwife and doula and the fact that you're in your own house, your own element, and once your baby is born, it's a much more peaceful and clean environment to welcome your baby. Plus, Mommy needs all the rest of you can get in so much better at your home than at the hospital where they're coming in every few minutes waking her up, prodding her poking her telling her what needs to be done, etc. I would encourage any mom, any mom considering the homework when discussing with your husband to study every aspect so you are prepared for initial questions, then discuss with your husband as soon as possible. As men and husbands we are programmed to consider our wife and our family so homebirth doesn't always feel like the most safe scenario to our child for our child's born. We are conditioned like everyone else to believe that hospitals are babies place to have a baby, when in reality they are not. It took time for their decision, but it was used to having months to prepare mentally to study information and absorb the benefits and how having a home birth was much more safe and best option for our family than a hospital. Another thing I would encourage is find other married couples or whatever couples, specifically men who have had a birth so that they can share their stories with other men who may be on the fence. Having man to man conversation about the pros and cons will be brutally honest but also convey how important and beneficial it was a family change is always difficult but having someone explain positive aspects have explained positive effects and outcome in a way that you can understand it more clearly is definitely a positive factor. And he had an experience with a friend who asked him about the home birth and he told him our stories. I guess and they just still decided on a hospital birth because it was their first they felt safest. And it ended in a C section and and come to find out they then they started researching homebirths second birth was a home birth so yeah, I mean have to learn.

Unknown 19:09

Everybody's on their own journey Exactly. But and I know that's what a show that Rachel and I really want to do want to like do doulas and dads and have their time because there are so many are we now it's even like you know, dads and midwives and like how to help process that because I mean that's so perfect that what you said because yes, men are supposed to protect and it's kind of like we have that fear aspect in society, you know, and so it just like what could go wrong and all of that. So, but having that, you know, having that unit together, you know, and that trust in each other and then having him there for that support to I love his thoughts that so sweet. Now, okay, so you said the second one at home, it was a very long birth. He was born, couldn't believe he was real. And you got to experience that difference there. I'm sure the recovery was different mentally, physically, emotionally, you kind of touched on that. Okay, so let's fast forward to your third. This and I remember this one. I think I knew you for this one because I remember this and then your most recent one because this is your little girl yes your third right yeah, so I have not to be like all creepy stalker but I'm like your stories like it's just so freakin cool. So, um, let's go into that. The third baby your second

Unknown 20:39

okay. I wanted to say that my Oh, so that first home birth I I didn't really do anything different for preparing for the homework other than the reading in the documentary So then for the second home birth, I read and somewhat practice Hypnobabies and hypnobirthing. But I will admit it's not like give it all the time and energy that it needed. And I also did prenatal yoga with that second one.

Unknown 21:21

Okay, so and continue with our bracket here. So with that first home birth did you do childbirth education classes like what kind of labor coping mechanisms or anything like that. Did you? Did you employ any or was it really heavily kind of on the doula that you were?

Unknown 21:42

Yes. I think that's what I I spoke with the doula and the midwives and mostly just talked with them about it. I think I did read the Bradley. Method. But again, not. I didn't. I think mentally I was like, I'm out of the hospital. All I need to be is at home and everything's going to be doing what needs to be done. Okay. Okay, so

Unknown 22:06

you said with the second one, practice a little bit of the Hypno babies but nothing real substantial, but then he said prenatal good practice. So same homebirth midwife, Team Colette, correct. Okay. And then a doula as well. Yes. Okay, so how did this birth

Unknown 22:29

so this was almost identical in ours, like the timeframe 11 hours of early labor, and it was a slightly shorter active labor

Unknown 22:42

but still wait. And see, she was sorry. She was sunny side up and nine and a half pounds. undiagnosed gestational diabetes. Okay. Yeah. Um, now what was that birth experience like with her

Unknown 23:20

so I went into this one thinking that it was gonna be faster because this is my third baby second bad, you know? And just, you just think it gets going to be back for and so I think I was a little shocked by it still. taking so long. But it's just nothing. Even as hard and long as these laborers are, there's nothing more empowering and natural and beautiful. So I even it was a struggle. It was hard. It was a hard labor. But I wouldn't have traded I think four days later I was like, I want to do that again.

Unknown 24:05

Oh my God. Now what time this might be jumped ahead or a little bit backwards because now I wouldn't think so. What's the the age difference in the kiddo so like, How long after cesarean? Did you wait to have your second?

Unknown 24:23

Okay, so my first two are 17 months apart. I don't know what the math is on that when I got pregnant. And then the second two are 22

Unknown 24:36

Okay. Give yourself a little bit of time to heal. Now, what did you say after your second was born, did you not did you find out the gender of the babies before they were born? Okay, so you didn't know yet. Okay, so when she was born,

Unknown 24:59

when sunny rain was born and her name was already sunny Ray before we he was born so he was sunny, rainy and sunny side up and he has a wrecking ball ever since. But when he was born, I said I'm so happy you're here.

Unknown 25:19

I love it. I love that. So that recovery as well how did you feel with that one because again to was still that it was a long labor so I know obviously you're kind of lawyer but how would you like every actor

Unknown 25:42

good if there was a lot of swelling down there. It was good. I was up walking around. You know, I don't remember having to be laid up or anything. I don't remember anything.

Unknown 25:59

Yeah, it's kind of like it was good. So you don't really remember Yeah. Yeah. Now did you? Did you use a birth pool? Like was that the the idea for all the home births

Unknown 0:01

Yeah so bad when we're not great Michael

Unknown 0:19

so repeat it real quick because like, I don't think it came through because my internet was a little bit in and out so repeat what the first home birth in second number four

Unknown 0:30

so, after my first home birth, was born in the pool and sunny right was not he was born on land because at one point with it being such a long labor Rachel says you're doing a great job. Oh, because I was very insistent I wanted to breathe baby down. I didn't want to do all the pushing that I felt like I did the first time. So Rachel, case means you can't just do your job. Breathing baby down. You've been at a 10 for a time if you want me to help you. I can help you notice it so we did this maneuver on the floor. I don't even know if it has a name or something but she had to help me get her turned around and get her out.

Unknown 1:18

And that's perfect that you were able to move though you know? Yes. Because especially if you've got that Sunnyside a baby that back labor like movement Yeah, the key to help with that. Okay, so we've had our second home for now what? Let's dive into your most recent one. Birth midwives were there because first two numbers correct. Let's see how this one unfolded

Unknown 2:02

Okay, yeah, can you repeat that?

Unknown 2:04

Yes. Let's see how that this last homebirth that third homebirth unfolded.

Unknown 2:12

Okay. You want me to do so. In addition to what I did for the previous homebirth? I added more than okay, yeah, let's hear it. Okay. Which I think is what made all the difference. This time I saw a pelvic floor physical therapist throughout the whole pregnancy, or I think I started maybe around 15 to 20. I did Christian Hypno birthing. And I actually did it seemed a lot more manageable than the other two than the regular Hypno birthing and the Hypno babies. This is an app. It's a Facebook group. They have tracks to follow the course you watch her videos. So I was in a church this was my strongest faith, build pregnancy and childbirth, those those are the things that had it in preparation. Okay, what

Unknown 3:16

was the it was a book that you read?

Unknown 3:19

The last one I said, Yeah. Supernatural Childbirth,

Unknown 3:23

supernatural childbirth. Okay. All right. And then you had all of that in addition to so I like seeing how the birth support team grew as well as like, you're still devouring that birthing knowledge and still reading the books and taking some courses and classes. I think that's to mention.

Unknown 3:46

So

Unknown 3:48

how did this birth

Unknown 3:54

this time I had a different doula I wanted a specifically to support my face. So she came so it's funny how this court first started, like my variant. My water broke again. And Beth Rachel has a very specific protocol to follow. If your water breaks before Labor starts, and I followed it, it was taken vitamin C akinesia, checking your temperature all these things so I was just following that. My it was a slow leak. It wasn't a big gush. And at first I wasn't even sure if it was or if I was just peeing my pants Peter. So yeah, it happens. A lot. Yeah. And so I was just hanging out with this. We're all home. My mother in law was over. I was having cramping contractions and nothing that was, you know, making me he will repay and so I was just monitoring it. Oh, because this whole pregnancy I had had some light bleeding, some cramping contractions and I wasn't sure and a few days earlier I had had prodromal labor, labor. So again, I wasn't sure if this was it or not. But because that was only 38 weeks and two days or something like that. Which was the same as my first birth. So then the days going on again, there's all day have this kind of cramping something consistent. And so I told my Doula I told my midwife and my Doula came over at I think 6pm And she had a 10 unit, which I had heard about but never used before. And I was like, Sure, why not. So she placed the 10 unit on me and we started it. She showed me how to use it. And so I started using it, but still nothing super painful or anything. And then I think we figured this was it. And so we had my parents come get our kids. Because as much as I would love to have my kids part of the birth. I think mentally I that wouldn't be a good thing for me. I couldn't. So then around 11 I knew things were Oh, with my water breaking. This may have to be edited because though this happens. That's true. So with my water breaking bad thing, Rachel the way Rachel explained it, she wasn't worried about perfection. He wasn't new things would be okay. But just with the way life is with the way our society is right now. The A homebirth transfer. It's just looked at negatively especially if I were to come in and be like, hey, my waters been broken for so long. It was on the hole. So we are trying to avoid that. So best or Rachel wanted. active labor just started 24 hours after my work. So my water broke around 8am We really wanted active labor to get going. And my my husband actually praying all day and my husband heard God tell him that active labor is going to start by 6am and baby's going to be here by 8am. And so just remember that and so, around 11pm is when I was like okay, these, these are starting to I'm starting to feel these I'm starting to turn the 10 unit up and really, really use the 10 unit. But still it wasn't anything compared to my active labor before so I did not think I was in actively. And I may not have been or maybe it was but the 10 unit was helping I don't know I've just praying through the contractions I was had such a easy free i don't know i looked at contractions differently. They call them you know in these hypnobirthing books and everything they call them waves. So I really tried to just think of it as wave I'm riding a wave and it's gonna it's gonna come back down and it's gonna go back up here for the ride. And I in the previous birth, I felt my body trying to fight the contraction, like work again. And so this one I just replaced and really, I don't want to push down but mentally that's kind of how I thought of it was open so I should do it that all night I let my husband sleep I learned that from the first home birth let your husband sleep. And so I'm just downstairs on my yoga ball watching TV eating a bowl of cereal just talking to myself through these waves and wondering if this was it. And then around 6am is when I called my doula and I said you can come now I'm still talking, walking, not having to stop through contractions or anything. So she came and that was that she five times she got there was like 645 So walking and talking and weighing my kids listening to worship music. She at one point it felt really good to be in like a child. So I was doing that on the couch. And I said you know what I kind of I want to go to bed and lay down and try to sleep through these contractions. And so we went upstairs and I laid down and it was the most uncomfortable contraction. It was awful. I said, No, that's not going to work. And I sat up and threw up. I had never thrown up in labor. And I said give me a bucket right now growing up. And then once that was over, I went on our floor right in front of our bed. We have a bench in front of our bed, and I was on the floor in front of the bed, just on my hands and knees swaying my hips back and forth. It felt so good. I asked my husband to start filling up the birth pool. Okay, so my Doula was there. Yeah. And he started filling up the birth pool. And thank God she so at this point, the midwife is on her way in my photographers are on the way we've had birth photographers, all of our homework so they're both out their way. And we've been within 15 minutes from me throwing up there were 50 minutes from throwing up to his birth. And again, I think when I threw up is when I was like, okay, just as active labor up until then I did not know.

Unknown 11:41

I would just like your body give you another sign like in case you didn't know. Yeah.

Unknown 11:46

And you know, what I think happened was when my Doula got there, my body said, Okay, we're saying now we're saved. We

Unknown 11:53

can do this though.

Unknown 11:53

Yeah, yeah. And I was just leaning on the bed, in a deep lunch, you know, one the one day down and my Doula said, Daddy, I hope you're ready to catch your baby. And he just walked out. I had the fetal ejection reflex that I have dreamed of having I finally had it. And Daddy cos, baby he had a double. How do you say it's a new goal? Info course he unwrapped. It handed me the big. I mean, it was just like, what, what? And my Doula said, Jessica, you just had an unassisted birth. Like I had no it was just I was blown away.

Unknown 12:39

But so what did you What was your record of saying after that birth, what did you

Unknown 12:44

like hope someone born I said, Oh, I loved him so much.

Unknown 12:52

That is so crazy, because I remember you had shared the pictures, and I feel like your pictures. Like there's no words necessary. So I'm gonna have to get this from him. We're gonna have to share them because it's just like, you can just you can feel like you can just feel it in the images that you have. So

Unknown 13:10

you know, it's really really cool is that I got to experience my husband. I feel like being on our first time. He doesn't get the oxytocin and everything that we do when we give birth. But for him to be so involved with that first like he was just on a high for hours. And I wanted to tell you the funny transformation of him at the birth. So we go from my first home birth where he wanted nothing to do with them. He did not want to see it didn't want to he didn't even want to cut the cord. I think I kind of forced him to do that. But he wanted to be there to support me in everything, but he didn't want to be all that to my second homebirth Rachel knew he didn't want to be that. So she kept teasing him and egging him on. He was like, look at your beautiful daughter be born trans book trans look. And so finally he's like that he was in the grudgingly and then so this whole birth where he had no choice but he was all up in there.

Unknown 14:11

I guess that baby I love the process for him to

Unknown 14:19

wow, that's those are such very, it's such a big, different experience from that first time to that fourth time, but that was a big reason why I wanted you to share these little insights into it not to say you know, everybody needs to have a home birth or anything like that, like you know, but the journey you took to ensure that empowered third experience and how it went from because I mean am I miss very much the same like as at the OB okay, I'm just gonna do everything that they say to second time where you're like, wait a minute, demand and I was like, I gotta do something different. If I want a different verb, you know, and so it's just amazing to see that progression. And I love how each of your verbs and I've already said this, like you just kept learning and devouring the information, you know, and kept and kept doing I want

Unknown 15:17

her to and I really wanted to experience that fetal ejection reflex and I think I was little traumatized from how long sunny raise my sunny side up, baby, and how hard that was. So I was determined to have a better day.

Unknown 15:39

And I love how your first support team grew. And the big mental shift. I did want to mention that the big mental shift you had in how you thought about the contractions, instead of that fighting them, but kind of that riding that wave and I know that the Christian Hypno birthing in your faith also played a big part in that too. I just think that, you know, our words have power, but our thoughts you know, do as well too. And so sometimes we have so much fear in that birth and so this just kind of outlines and shows how you kind of transform that that trust in your body and trusting like these contractions are there for a reason. You know?

Unknown 16:30

I think that's pretty much how you focus on that.

Unknown 16:33

It's all about mindset. That that is

Unknown 16:39

a big part of it. That's a big part of it. All right. So what words of wisdom which you share with other expecting moms, I mean, I know you might have definitely said a few things in here already. But if you've got you know, that friend that loved one or something that is expecting

Unknown 17:06

alright I wrote I said trust your body. Made to do this with very, very few rare exceptions, your body and I said surround yourself with like minded supportive people. It's okay to tell others only to speak positively about blink that whatever it is that you want your birth to be or not speak about it at all, and that maybe someday down the road, we'll be able to talk about it but right now unless you have positive input for encouragement, you're just you're not thinking and hopefully if there's a good friend or family that wants to interview multiple doulas and hire a doula. Absolutely have a doula even if I know people, you know it's a financial thing. There's so many practicing tools out there who are new and they will give you a discounted rate or even sometimes free or very close to it because it's time to get the experience in and just having another person there for you. It's all about your mindset. For me, it was the personal aspect and thank God in the Christian Hypno birthing, and I know that's not for everybody, but it's where you find peace where you find comfort in that you've got you've got to have your mind set in the right place. And one of the things that the Christian hypnobirthing talks about, which I'm sure many people do is the fear, tension pain cycle. And that's, yeah, so in our culture, we're I mean every movie you see of a woman giving birth, it's she's screaming and pain. And so we just, that's what we know about it. So we associate childbirth with fear with pain, and with so if you're fearing it, you're going to be tense, your body's going to be tense your face is going to be 10. Every and that was really my my first birth experience and my cipher experience is still a little fear. And I would say it slowly progressed where I realized, I think I'm going to be okay. It's just it. For me, it's a mindset. Absolutely.

Unknown 19:32

Those are so perfect that those are definitely it's you know, it takes a little bit of that that work and that constant searching you know, and reaching out like you said, like interview just keep if that's if there's something in that birth that you desire, then you know, definitely keep searching for that. That support so I love I love that verse support team that you had and how important changed and helped with every single one.

Unknown 20:03

All right, my friends, any other thoughts or things

Unknown 20:05

that you want? To share things that we didn't cover that you

Unknown 20:07

really want? People to know?

Unknown 20:17

Oh, keep moving and don't free during labor with my first home birth Aye. Aye. Aye think I was having a contraction so I just froze, you know, which Yes, during the actual contraction, your body is pretty much doing needs to do and you're staying in one position but even in between I was so scared to move. I don't know if I thought it was going to bring on more pain or something. But I will say with this last, this last birth experience that I had, I would not and I know people are going to think I'm lying but I would not call it painful. It was not painful. It was uncomfortable. Yes. But it was not painful. And I fully give credit to the Christian Hypno birthing in the supernatural child. I don't in the 10s unit. But yeah, I just I can't believe that that's the birth experience. That I have. And I'm still processing I can't wait to I want to write it all out. My photographer just sent me the birth video so I want to like

Unknown 21:26

oh, gosh, you gotta dive into that. Yeah, review relive those emotions. Yes. Yeah, well I mean, that makes sense that you can say that that birth pills are different because you did feel it really come you know, like you did feel it those first year first. And so it had a lot to do with that mindset shift. And so, that's always fun to see. Like, I don't know what's gonna unfold with some of these stories as well to talk to mom and Afghan moms. And so it's neat to see how that trust in your body, but that the mindset shift seemed to be a big, you know, thing for you. So, and I love how your husband was transparent. Yeah. That is so cute. I am so so happy that you came on here to share your story. For those who are listening, you are going to have to follow a live version on Instagram because that's where we do most of our sharing aligned underscore birth because we're gonna as long as it's fine with you, but share clips and things from this episode, but also some of the birth photography as well. Yeah. Because it's really it's really, really emotional and I'm glad that you were able to have those moments captured as well. Kind of look back on that. But yes, thank you so much for being on the show today and sharing your story. I'm hoping you know, the big desire I have from this again, not that everybody goes out and have the home birth but they see the work that you put into it. That yes, we can trust our bodies, to innately know how to give birth, but there's also the aspect of you really wanted to feel empowered and you want you made those informed decisions and so it was he did put some work into it, you know, and to really support yourself. So I hope that's a big takeaway for people that you know, whether you'd say yes, this is for me or no, this is not as long as you do that that was an option or that those that information was out there. So again, thank you so so much for being on the show.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai