Ep 26 Due Dates and the Holidays

What do the holidays and your due date have to do with each other? The rate of inductions dramatically increases in the days leading up to a major holiday...and the rate of babies actually born on major holidays dramatically drops. This is due to the fact that some care providers want to manage the course of your labor and control whether or not they are working on a holiday.

The goal is to help you learn more about this topic and feel prepared to advocate for yourself during those final weeks of pregnancy.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The importance of learning about due dates
• How far along we were when our babies were born
• How due dates are calculated
• The rate of inductions before major holidays
• Focusing on your “due month”
• Who can help support you during this time

Be sure to listen to our other episodes where we talk about building your birth support team and choosing a care provider:

Episode # 3: Building Your Birth Support Team 

Episode # 14: Choosing a Care Provider for Your Birth

This podcast was created from a desire to share conversations and interviews about topics from pregnancy and birth to motherhood and the importance of a healthy body and mind through it all.  Our goal is to bring you fun, interesting, and helpful conversations that excite you and make you want to learn more.

We hope what we share will make an impact and help someone else along their journey.

We believe that when you are aligned in body, mind, and your intuition, you can conquer anything!

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Transcript

0:03

Hello, hello and you are listening to the aligned birth Podcast. Today you have both hosts here. So I'm Dr. Shannon, one of the hosts on the show and we've got doula Rachel with us here today and she and I are going to have one of our glorious conversations that we love to record and hope that you guys enjoy listening. Today we're talking about due dates. And why are we talking about due dates, because those due dates can really impact I guess the care that you receive right throughout your pregnancy what what's going on with your provider? How do they look at due dates, how are they calculated, as far as pregnancy due dates go and we want to touch on the concept of inductions around holidays. Because if your due date is close to a holiday, maybe you are hearing some of that type of language spoken in the office that you were at whether you know if you're birthing at a hospital or something like that, so and maybe we can flip the script a little bit and focus on some different ways to look at those due dates. And so we'll go into that a little bit more to me, of course, we've got tons of resources for you as well. So I'm excited to talk about this. Today with you Rachel.

1:25

I am super excited for this conversation Dr. Shannon and I just think it's really important. And it's, I think applicable to as we're approaching the kind of major holiday season with Thanksgiving, Christmas and the New Year. So some popular major US holidays and the rate of induction tends to increase right around those holiday so I think it's an important time to talk about due dates and everything you said I'm looking forward to diving in.

2:00

I know and and that's why it's kind of going over that like Okay, so why are we talking about this I think we've started a couple episodes like so, kind of telling people okay, this is why we're talking about this. Yeah, you may not even realize I know, when I was pregnant. I don't even think I I mean, I didn't even look into that much as far as like, Oh, this is an induction it was kind of like you just followed I followed the routine, you know, and I think we've talked about that before. So not necessarily advocating for myself or asking questions. But it's good to know these things and I personally am a holiday baby. So my birthday is very, very close to Christmas.

2:37

Mine is close to Thanksgiving.

2:39

I think I just saw that recently. We were looking at I was looking at some of our episode things. I was like, Rachel's birthday is coming up. Um, so we maybe we had some you know, some dealings with that is our own how we were brought in to the world maybe but so we'll have to dive into that a bit. But it's, it's important to discuss what those due dates. So do you want to talk a little bit about I don't know maybe even if with your due date if your mom had anything with you, but then your kiddos too. And their due dates and when did that because you know 5% of births actually occur on their due date,

3:15

right which is tiny, tiny, tiny, which focuses on on the due date. When are you due? I mean, you people find out you're pregnant and When are you due? And I want to talk a little bit more about that later about sort of how to flip the script on that and how to answer that question so that you can start shifting perspectives. But for me, I both of my babies were born at 41 weeks and six days. That is one day short of 42. We are going over that estimated due day, but I'll tell you I had the just the privilege and the fortunate, you know happenings to kind of learn about due dates with my first and so I never focused on my due date I shared so my first was born I was do quote unquote due around the end of March so March 26 was his official due date. And I always just said around the end of March. Little did I know he was going to come you know a week into April. But he did and I just it was mindset for me. It was mindset over matter. And since I had learned about that early on it was more normal for me. I talked about it with my providers I talked about with my family so everyone got on board with okay, we're just gonna talk about the due date. Like it's not likely that she's going to go on that day and if she does, cool, but we're not focusing on and no one was like, you know applying all the pressure or getting you know, are you have you had the baby have you had the baby yet? And if they did, I mean I just ignored it and turned off my phone. I just try not to let it get to me but anyways, and so it helped me go past 40 weeks pretty easily. Like I wasn't like oh my gosh, when's he gonna come? I just sort of took it day by day and I was like, okay, he's gonna come in the next couple of weeks. I was like, it's a very short amount of time. He will most likely be here in the next couple of weeks and if not, I'll cross that bridge when I get there. And sure enough, you know, both of them decided at the last minute to to come on and I just carry my babies law. I just Yeah, everyone. That's my experience. What about you? How did your due dates look and when were your ratings done in respect to your due

5:29

dates? Well, I think it's so neat. Like our first pregnancies were so very different, because I there was a lot of focus on that due date. Like, I didn't have that mindset in place as far as like looking at it as that estimate or like, oh, it's gonna be around here. So you know, yeah, I tell people Oh, yeah, I'm due here and then at work, it would be like, Oh, you're still here. You're still here and I just wanted to like punch somebody like I just guess I'm still What do you want me to do? Like Stop? Just stop like that really frustrated? I think that added to that, like, stress. Oh, the baby's not here. The baby's not something's wrong. Yes. And so that I think added to my fear cascade that I had had with my first and sure ended up with that emergency C section. I'm not gonna blame it on everybody. That is part of it. So I didn't flip the script there. And I remember sitting in so I went to Yeah, I was a week, a week late, you know, like so it wasn't the full you know, not almost afford but I was late, you know, and so it was just, I remember sitting in the nursery that we had and I had like my little rocker chair so that I would be able to nurse I just said and I would just cry because I was like, why is he not here or she cuz I didn't know we didn't know. I was just like, why is it not here so it was I think that added to that extra stress and anxiety that I had so sure. And then of course you ended up with my emergency C section and everything and which I had a little bit I guess we're going to go into it later to that induction cascade. I did go into labor on my own but then again, I also went to the hospital too early. I didn't labor enough at home and so I ended up with that. Induction cascade strict membranes Pitocin so I did go into labor on my own which was great and they I did the non stress test you know amniotic fluids fine like every baby's fine. Well, they let me go you know, they let me continue right that language. And um, but with my second he was actually a little bit early. I actually wrote these things down so his due date was like, I always think of this, the Mayan calendar. Like the end of all time. 2112 was his due date I was a great my babies can be born on that. But he came early.

7:57

And I wanted to be there for the end of the world party

8:00

wanted to see it. Yeah, he's like, I'm not gonna miss this and he was, yeah, so that was a very different experience there. Again, I went into labor on my own, but um, it felt it felt better. You know, and I've talked you know, I've talked in other episodes, too, as far as the differences in those two as well, but yeah, but you know, the dude, it's just the estimate,

8:26

you know, total estimate, and it is what so many people focus on, and it's what can cause a lot of undue stress and a lot of unnecessary stress and worry when we tend to focus on that one day with the tiny percent chance that they're going to come on that exact day. But yeah, that's what we focus on. So I love your stories. And I'm thankful for you that your second came a little early, because that helps with the mind. Yes, you're not forced to you know, have to go through that again with the wondering and waiting and so I'm happy to hear that and they do they pick their due date, and we're gonna talk about how they do you know why? When labor begins on its own, what, what that indicates that the body and baby are ready and all that so we'll get into that a little bit. But I think it's important to talk about why why is this important to talk about and reframe and flip the script on due dates. And it's important because when we focus less on that single single due date, we are more likely to let labor begin on its own like it's more likely that labor will begin on its own. When you're more at ease with going beyond your due date and your provider supports going beyond your due date. Notice I didn't say that your provider lets you go beyond your due date. I said your provider supports pregnancy and you and has shared decision making and evaluates things as they go on and make sure that everyone's healthy and things are okay to continue. That when you have that supportive care provider when you're more at ease with going beyond your duty because it's more likely you're more likely, most first time birthing people go about 40 weeks and five days so it's more likely than not that you're going to go 40 weeks or beyond. So when you're more at ease, to go beyond your due date when you have a care provider who's supportive. You are more likely to have labor begin on its own and that downline effect is is significant and positive. You know, if labor has begun on its own, it's a good indication that baby is has reached fetal maturity and is ready to live outside of the womb. It's a good sign that your body is ready. You know there are benefits to breast or chest feeding after Labor has begun on its own. You have a greater chance of avoiding unnecessary interventions that might come if you try and medically start labor unnecessarily. So lots of benefits to letting labor began on its own and in order to let labor begin on its own while it sounds, you know, logical and a lot of people would be like, Well, yeah, it's easier said than done. And so we got to talk about it and reframe it and flip the script and say, Okay, well, we're not gonna focus on the due date. That's just an estimate. We're gonna focus on the due month and we're gonna, you know, get a supportive care provider, or talk to our family and friends and our kit writer about how we really want to just focus on the due month and not get hung up on the due date so that we can avoid those downline unnecessary interventions. And of course, I like to always remind people this is speaking to usually single single pregnancies or we're not talking about multiples, low healthy, low risk birthing people like for no known major risk factors that would require an early induction or a cesarean or you know, we're talking just the Yeah, the the typical normal,

11:51

yeah, that physiological normal birth and that's very true because there are going to be those reasons in cases where there does need to be an induction Sure. And so that's not you know, this is outside of that realm. But, you know, there is an increase in those rate of inductions around the holidays.

12:09

Yes, a major, a major increase in inductions and I couldn't find the exact number because I don't know if anyone has it, but it base it skyrockets, the rate of inductions in the days leading up to a major holiday. So specifically, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, especially all in the US and then oddly enough, the number of births on major holidays, dramatically drops because providers are trying to avoid being away from their families, right and you can't blame them right. But so we have a high rate of induction in the days leading up to a major holiday and then a dramatic drop in actual birth that occur on major holidays and that's because their providers are managing, managing these pregnancies versus letting them unfold as they are meant to unfold. And so Wow, of course we all want to be with our families. You know, if you've chosen to be an obstetrician or midwife, or a doula or anyone who is supporting this on called Nature, that's part of the gig. And so you want a provider who is on board with that and is like, you know, I'm here any day you need me or we share a call with a group of providers who are here on the holidays and and that they're not sort of dropping sort of hits to an induction or or non medical reasons for an induction in those days leading up to the holidays and they and they might even frame it not about themselves. Like oh, I don't want to be here on a holiday they'll make it about you and say, well, don't you want to be home for Christmas? Or don't sure

13:58

if you want a specific doctor now I have had shortages with this before. Oh, I wanted to birth with this doctor. And so this doctor is only on shift this day, you know, so that's even outside the holiday realm, but I'd have had this happen before patients. So the same thing shifting, they'll say, Well, you want to work with me,

14:16

then it's tempting. They sort of bait a little bit to make it tempting and you may be promised that you'll get to have a certain doctor or you'll get to go home in time to celebrate a certain holiday but the reality is, is there's no guarantees, right? And getting induced comes with the possibility of other interventions and even complications that can leave you at the hospital longer than you hoped for when you when you originally agreed to the induction usually we're not thinking of those worst case scenarios or we're not thinking that we'll have the long induction you know, inductions can take several days sometimes. And then if you end up in the event of needing a cesarean, you're going to be there for three or four days after the birth to recover before you get to go home. So while it might seem tempting, like oh, I want to have the baby before Christmas because I want to be home to celebrate or whatever holiday you're trying to plan around. Just remember that all these unknowns are still possible and you might end up even at the hospital longer than you thought you would and you miss the whole thing when if you just let labor begin on its own possibly. It could have been a shorter stay at the hospital. You know, you could have you know, and if your baby's born on holiday, it's one holiday you miss. And then five will carry on and there'll be other holidays you'll get to celebrate together and that baby's birthday will be extra special. So you know, and I think all of that can be avoided when you let labor begin on its own right and this means baby has reached fetal maturity and there are so many benefits to that so I don't want to go too far into into that on this episode. But we are going to, you know, dog here that are earmark Yeah. We'll come back to it. A panicle. Better. Yeah, there we go there episode where we talk more about inductions.

15:58

And I think that would be good too. Because to hit home a little bit more of like, what is that cascade that can happen with the induction. So that's why we're talking about you know, it's just the estimate of the due date and the language that your provider is using. You mentioned that already and I had that too. Oh, we'll let you go, you know, certain aspect instead of supporting, you know,

16:19

yes. So, I just I was gonna agree profoundly with what you were saying and I interrupted, but I was so excited because I think the language is the first place you start. Mm hmm because think about how you're asking your questions to your provider. Will you let me go beyond 40 weeks? Will you let me go beyond 41 weeks? And so changing that language early on in those conversations during pregnancy is where it all begins. So saying how do you support going beyond 40 weeks? How do you support going beyond 41 weeks because that looks different they might be they might do one thing between 40 and 41 weeks and then do another thing between 41 and 42 weeks? So asking those questions but how do you support it? Right and understanding the normal physiological birth process and and that it's normal for babies to be born between 38 and 42 weeks, that's when most babies are born that's considered that's like the healthy range of giving birth.

17:12

And you know, I'm glad that there is that healthy range and even when we're calculating the due date it is so like if your cycle is fairly regular, you maybe have an easier time of calculating it might be a little bit more accurate to say, I don't know, but even if your cycle was irregular before, it's like all the it's just this backtracking that we do to get to that magic date.

17:38

Yes. So I did a little bit of research on this. So that I could have some information because a lot of people don't know how do dates are calculated. Is it the first day of your last period? Is it the last day of your last period? Is it the day you ovulated if you know that is it ultrasounding so what I learned is that the most accurate way is by ultrasounding in early pregnancy, so before 11 weeks and if you can combine that with the first day of your last period like that can provide the most accurate dating but some people don't know the first day of their last period. Some people have irregular cycles like you mentioned. So that's if it's not a regular cycle, it's really hard. So there, that's when we can fall back on early ultrasounding. And that can give us the most accurate dating and I did learn I mean a lot of people like if you go online and google like when's my due date? There's all kinds of calculators yes, there. Are two and if you don't know what information they're using, it's can really be misleading. So using your last menstrual period, the sexually called Nigel's rule. Yes, Professor from Germany in the early 1800s. So it's been a minute right? He created this rule that adds seven days to the first day of your last period and then counts forward. Nine months. Okay, so many

19:09

I reading all that too. And I was like, yeah, yeah,

19:13

yeah. Do you hear Charlie Brown now going? It doesn't make any sense. But many providers today still use a form of this and it is not evidence based. It is it is. It is adding to the whole estimate part of this. And so that's where ultrasounding in our in today's technological world. ultrasounding is beneficial and can be helpful. If you if you're able to get that in before 11 weeks. Again, not everyone's able to do that. So if you know your first name, your last period, that's the next thing you would start with and if you know your date of ovulation, so if you're having fertility treatments that usually those people are very homed in on their ovulation but other people are too so if you know your date of ovulation that actually produces a more accurate dating and for people who know their date of ovulation 90% of babies will be born by 40 weeks which is in that shows like oh wow so but not everyone knows that and that's just that's not saying go out and start you know tracking your ovulation but there are benefits to that too.

20:22

But there I was gonna say I think this kind of shows like being that active participant in all this and wanting to know, what is your cycle? How are the hormones like when are you in all of those different phases? Right, so I think it's uh, yeah, so even you know, even if you learn that little nugget from this

20:41

right and so, um, yeah, so it's better to provide so for most people are using that last menstrual period as a form of dating with ultrasounding. But it's still better to provide a date range, it's still better to say between 30 and 42 weeks, your baby's most likely to be born and most babies are born I think I said this earlier 40 weeks and five days for first time on to the point where there's been some people out there proposing to actually change to say like, the due date is 40 weeks and five days versus 40 weeks. Okay, because that's the that's the average and yet we're people that they're due five days before the actual average. So some interesting stuff to learn about and there and sort of, I think it's important to know how they're calculated. It's important for you to be aware of what's happening with your body and not everyone is and some there's accidental pregnancies where you're not keeping up with your cycle and you know, so it's not to say you must know your cycle or you must know your ovulation, but it's kind of cool to know that if you do if you are aware of that, or you have an idea, then that can improve dating. And if not, we have technology today like ultrasounding that can help provide a more accurate dating and that that's more accurate than just going off of your last cycle.

21:57

Right. Right. But I do love that that language flip to as far as looking at it more of that will you even said that due month, or opening it up to to saying like yeah, this is the estimated due date. You know, and I love that that can help and I kind of wish I'd had that too. Like that little understanding of that estimate there and like, oh, it can go longer because it's good to check on your people that are still still pregnant. Have a normal, you know, pass that 40 And five, but it's awesome. Like, well, you can also

22:34

check on them in a compassionate way. And, and, and when you've been talking to your friends and family leading up to the birth and sharing that it's just an estimate, and it's a range and you're focusing on the new month and when they check on you it's not about is the baby here yet. It's how are you doing?

22:51

How are you doing?

22:52

Can I bring you a dinner Can I pay for a massage for you? Can I take your dogs for a walk? Can I take you to lunch? You want to talk on the phone? How are you? Like this is not easy. It's saying instead of saying is the baby here? Yep. Is there something wrong is like how are you doing count? You know? So that's a tip for people who are supporting and circles of people who are who are waiting on their baby to come and understand that it is not an easy time and that they're already under enough stress. And you can almost be certain that they're going to let you know once the baby's here. Exactly. Asking just produces more stress. So support them. How are they doing? And yeah, and I say for our, our pregnant mamas listening, or if you hope to be pregnant one day that do month, that phrase that estimated due date focusing on the due month is really a flip the script moment and really a way for you to start shifting your perspective and for those around you and so, when people ask when you're due you can use phrases like mid January and March early spring. And then they might really then they might continue to ask and say well, what day and then you can say, well, we don't really know it's a guest date. It's an estimate and that estimate is mid mid January or something like you can you know, and then that helps them learn to every time you share that you're helping someone else learn a new perspective on the normal birth process.

24:21

Yes, I know. And I think another step to that too, is and we've talked about this a bunch and you mentioned it a little bit earlier as far as that I'm going to that birth support team. So where can you go to find those people to help create that team to help you flip that script and change the language and ask those open ended questions. You know, I think that's a big difference I see between when I was pregnant and what I know now, like instead of just asking that, yes, no, it's asking those open ended questions. And so you may not know you can ask those things. You may not know that there's people out there that that can help with those things. And so I think that's another aspect to these due date conversations is finding those support team people to help you and to support you.

25:19

Yes, yeah. And so that you're talking about doulas and chiropractors and postpartum doulas and all kinds of other providers along the way who are going to help provide that, that framework for supporting and going beyond due dates and, and just sharing that like new perspective. So I think definitely, obviously, I'm a doula. I have that bias there. And we, we we talk about it with our clients. So we begin that conversation early. We talk about questions to ask your provider early on, again about how they support going beyond due dates. Giving them that language giving them those questions to ask so that they have that confidence to ask those questions and to seek out care that is supportive of that and to help shift their own perspective. And then of course, childbirth education. I do that too. And we talk I have a whole section on due dates and understanding pretty much what we just said but more in depth. And that again, the more you learn, the less fearful you are. And you know, I think if you're feeling anxious about wondering when labor will begin at that's completely normal. This isn't to say, Oh, if you think about the due date, you're just going to be perfectly in bliss and easy to go past your due date. It's not easy, no matter how you slice it. But a little bit of this knowledge that we've shared here and a little bit of patience and just reminding yourself that letting labor begin on its own is a positive sign that both you and your baby are ready for labor, and that your body has gone through some steps to prepare for labor that your baby has reached fetal maturity and and that is where they can breathe, their lungs are ready to breathe outside of the womb. Their heart is ready to pump and and they are just ready to join us and to survive and thrive on the other side of the womb. And, and I also want to point out that if the only reason for induction is your due date, be sure to ask your provider questions, ask more questions about risks and benefits, alternatives before agreeing to it. And it's totally fine. If you want to go and get into so that you can be home for Christmas or Thanksgiving. I get it I do like I don't it's not about judgment or doing any sort of right or wrong way. Just want you to have the information and and choose what aligns with you like choose what feels right to you. And everyone has their own unique situation and circumstances. So you know, or just to

27:47

show yeah, I'm so glad you said that because that's always those little nuggets that we try to provide in the show. And it's not like you know how we give birth matters and how we feel about how we give birth matters. But if you listen to all this information, you're like I have looked at the risks and the benefits. This is what aligns with me this is what aligns with my family this what aligns with what I want, then you've made an informed decision, my friend like that is the goal of all of this. And so your informed decision doesn't have to look anything like anyone else's informed decision when it comes to this birthing process. So I love that you said that so yeah, there's never you know, judgment shame in this it's just it's that knowledge, that information and hearing it and saying, oh, okay, maybe this is what comes with the induction I feel comfortable with this or I don't feel comfortable with this. And we have other episodes too. So there's I don't even have the episode numbers, but you can look to see because we have one whole episode about a few that creating that verse support team. So who are the people that you can go to and ask information for when it comes to like I want to know more about inductions. So who are some people that you can put into your circle and you've mentioned some of those two already in this episode? Obviously, the doulas we love the doula. So that's a really really good place to start and asking for that information. But then also we have an episode about choosing a provider. And that one was so good because it is listening to that language and where do you want to birth and all those types of things? So there's other episodes out there too, to help. If you if something's been sparked here and you're like, okay, maybe I can ask them different questions or I'm feeling this certain way, then, you know, keep reaching, keep searching for those answers.

29:28

I love that you have options and choosing your care provider is an is an important decision. And that's a great episode. That's one of my favorite ones because we talk a lot about how you feel with that care provider. And paying attention to that as you're asking those questions. And that's super important. Same thing with how you feel when you have these conversations about your due date with your care provider. How they make you feel matters and you shouldn't feel like shamed or like you're not an active participant because you are your birth and it matters how you know, it matters how you give birth in a way that feels good with you like

30:06

I know yep, I totally get it. You're saying your birth matters, my friend. So good. Any other thoughts about due dates?

30:15

I think we've covered it. I just think as we're coming into the major holiday season, just keep this information in your back pocket. have these conversations with your care provider early and often. And do what alliance with you my friend

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