Ep. 16 Redefining Self-Centered with Rachel Hart, owner Re-Connected to Life

“Self care isn’t selfish” and in part 2 of our interview with local certified professional midwife Rachel Hart we dive deep into how it’s easy to lose our identity in the mundane everyday tasks of raising a family.  You’ll want to listen to part 1 because Rachel’s journey to midwifery is empowering, vulnerable, humble, and heart breaking. But she uses that to empower birthing families and encourage them to ask the question, “what if it is better than you ever imagined”.  With the same passion she has for empowering mothers through the birthing experience, she co-owns Reconnected to Life, a company dedicated to teaching the importance of self-care through workshops, retreats, and private coaching.  Again, due to her own struggles in her marriage, in her self-discovery and identity, she embarked on a one year journey to find what it means to be self-centered.  The knowledge and insight she gained from that self-discovery led to her desire to empower other women who might be struggling as well.  

With Reconnected to Life, she has helped create a space for those to be vulnerable, to be heard, and to listen to others, and to ultimately grow in this journey we call life.  They offer quarterly workshops with different topics from self-love, to honoring motherhood, to the principles of having an attitude of gratitude.  And they discuss the 4 seeds of self care: Nutrition #eatrealfood , Sleep #gotobed, Movement #moveyourbody , Meditation #tfm (take a few minutes).
 
Resources mentioned in the episode:
“Unplug” by Suze Yalof Schwartz
“Gifts of Imperfection” by Brené Brown

Transcript

The aligned birth podcast, and today is a follow up part two, interview with the trio we have today. So, Dr. Shannon here. Rachael Hutchins, who is the doula from your birth site Rachel and he was also the host on the show, and we are here again with Rachel Hart, and you got to go listen to their first part of our conversation because Rachel does a lot of things and so we had to break it up into two interviews because she's so amazing so she's a certified professional midwife. As a mother, as a mother of five children all born at home, and we talked all about midwifery in the first episode, and so if you've got questions about what is a home birth. What is the difference between a hospital birth and a home birth all of that, you got to go listen to that episode, and there are some amazing nuggets of information and grab a pen and paper because you're going to want to take notes. But today, we're gonna dive into the fact that she co owns reconnected to life. So this is a company dedicated to teaching the importance of self care through workshops retreats and private coaching but she really hones in on pregnancy, and the four seeds of self care and so I can't wait to dive into this today and talk about self care, because it's a buzzword I feel like today, but it's so, so important, and Rachel is going to have some amazing things to share with us and tips on self care and ways that we can take care of ourselves so that we can better take care of our families, and the world. So welcome again to the show Rachel heart. Thank you. Happy to be here. Yes, again, I love it. I'm reconnected to life. I don't even know where to start with all of this because I want to know how you got started into this self care aspect I want to know how the name of the business came about I want to know all about the workshops that you do, I want to know about the four seeds of self care, so I don't know where to start with all this because I want to know at all.

2:03

I will help you out. Yes. Now, first of all, reconnected to life is all about redefining what it means to be self centered, so you'll see we'll use that hashtag a lot, hashtag be self centered, based on what we call the four C's of self care, which are eating well, sleeping well, meditation, and exercise, and that when you are consistently practicing, each of those four seeds of self care, you are contributing to your optimal brain health. And basically when you feel better you do better. And so, when your brain is healthy and strong and you're feeling good, you accomplish your goals easier, you foster more meaningful relationships, and you better connect with your community. So that is what reconnected to Life stands for, and we drive those points home with different aspects of our business through our complimentary quarterly workshops, and our quarterly retreats, as well as our private coaching packages that are available. We also have a women's group that is a year long program called self centered, women, and that is a monthly call where women get on the call and discuss different topics. Obviously it's a deeper dive into self care so we're always touching on how well we are being consistent with eating well, sleeping low meditation and exercise, but then we're going a little bit deeper because most of these women who join this group are ready to make a huge change in their life, they know that they've been running on fumes for a long time, and that there is so much more to offer in this one and only precious life that we have than just running on fumes. And so when we meet in a group setting we allow ourselves to be heard, but we also get to be witness to what other people are going through and that dynamic really creates a magical space for change and growth and true growth is not easy in fact it's very uncomfortable and which is why the four C's of self care is so crucial because we want to feel as good as we can possibly feel in order to navigate those muddy waters, where there is potential for lots of discomfort to get through to the other side, and the reason I love it so much is because it's just like birth, because it's a labor of love, but for ourselves. And after that transition, comes the most magical thing we could ever imagine, which is the birth of our best life, whatever that looks like for each individuals are my job as a midwife, and my job as facilitating all the things that we do for reconnected to life is just that I'm a facilitator, I'm not here to cause anyone to do anything, but to stand witness in, and for the perfection that already exist within each one of you,

5:37

girl. I love, I mean so many notes already took in that, but I

5:44

really resonate in line with, I often write affirmations in my journal, every morning, and I like to write that I facilitate healing and I facilitate health, and so I love that you even speak there to that, I am this facilitator to stand witness and to be there and support. And I think that's beautiful. That's what we need because growth is so incredibly difficult, and especially if you are kind of doing that alone, I guess, And so, you creating this space to allow people to speak, and then allow to be heard. I mean, that isn't that what our souls want and desire, like that is how growth truly happens, that's how change in the world happens when we actively listen and then we

6:35

actively speak. It's easy to medication and not like in the first podcast when we were talking about how important it is to listen and to feel heard, as it contributes to the health of a pregnancy.

6:52

And I love your. It's a labor of love and how you relate this to birth, because in my own personal life recently and Rachael Hutchins and I, we had a wonderful discussion the other day about this because I was talking about all the things going on in my life, whose decisions I was trying to make, and things felt heavy and I was trying to push through and trying to figure out, and it was really looking at, okay, how do I make this informed decision. So I'm going to research everything and then I'm going to go with what aligns with me and the research that I've done, and so that's what I feel like too is with your your like it's just like birth I'm giving these resources this place for people to ask questions and to learn and to grow and to make those decisions of what's best for them to help them with their potential, so I love that you even recognize that parallel between what you get to do it reconnected to life, and what you do with your midwifery world,

7:47

right and it's just like on my, on the first podcast we talked about my journey into becoming a midwife and my reason for it and through the abuse of my first marriage, and the transition through birth into becoming independent and empowered and wanting to do that for other women the same kind of story is true for how reconnected to life was born, and that is that in 2017. I myself went through a type of year long program like we facilitate for self centered women. I was to a place where I was doing everything for everyone. I was in a marriage, where the love was lost years ago, like having sex once a year, barely making eye contact when we were in the same house. And I thought, I just, I was counting down the minutes until my youngest was 18. And then I was planning on getting a divorce. And because it was so important to me from the childhood that I came from, which was with a lot of alcoholism and a lot of moving around and changing schools that was very important that my kids had a quote unquote grounded experience right. But I became so consumed in that, that I missed the fact that everybody was miserable just because we all stayed in the same place didn't make it much better if we all were feeling like crap all the time, and I wasn't addressing my issues. He wasn't addressing his issues, and my children were starting to grow up thinking that that's the way that you love someone, or that's the way someone loves you and it was really that too, like, I can't bear for them to grow up to think that they'll have a wife that verbally abuses them, or that they'll have a husband who is never home and never engages in their children who were trying to shape. As you know, contributing characters to the society. I couldn't bear that anymore but I knew that I had to start with myself first, and so I decided I wasn't going to make any decisions on my marriage, until I spent a year working on myself. And so that's what I did, and by the 10th months of that year I knew that our relationship had run its course, and we were able to lovingly, say goodbye to that. And after 12 years of marriage, you know it was a lot to say goodbye to even, even if lots of it wasn't good. If I ever write a book, there will be this part in, in my book and I don't think that he would mind me saying so, but I feel like, You know you're doing something right. When the last night that he was in the home and the kids had gone to bed and I climbed into bed with him for the last time, and we cried our eyes out for probably two hours straight and we just held each other, and we cried for every baby that was born, and for every Christmas, and birthday, and every day of 12 years. And then we knew

11:42

neither one of us said let's not, let's take it back, we didn't do that, we knew that we had. We had been together for what we needed. At the time, and that it was time to move on. And so part of the journey with reconnected to life and the journey to yourself is understanding that you don't get to the next level without some pain and grief, of course, because it's a loss of yourself, but it's also the catapult into the next part of your life that's going to be better and more amazing than you can ever imagine. And now it is that way and more friends, and my kids understand that that wasn't right. When it comes to loving one another. And it really is for the best but there was pain. And so, we never want to get away from the pain and that's true for birth to quit trying to run from the pain it's in the pain. We're all the appreciation lies. When you come out from the other, on the other side of it. So that was 2017, and honestly I haven't looked back since then my co owner Kenda actually has been a dear friend of mine, our children have been friends since they were little, and not friends, and friends again, we've remained friends through it all and she came to me in 2018 and said you know I want you to be accountable. I want you to make me accountable, I'm ready to make a change in these assets, So, we would meet on a weekly basis, then break down all the things that we wanted to be doing for ourselves, to make ourselves better and it was those things I want to be eating this way, I want to meditate this many times a week I want to exercise this many times a week I want to get up at this time. Every morning, and we did that weekly, and then we finally realized, man, this is, this is universal, this is across the board. Everybody needs that. Because when you feel better you do better. And that's the other thing that I always say, when we're in our retreats and workshops, too. We know because we know, not because we know better. We've been through it, we're still going through it, we'll still be going through it three months from now because there's no destination. It's just a journey. It's a maintenance plan, but when you're doing that, you're going to find that your days are spent. Feeling good, more than they're spent feeling bad. So that's basically how it all came to be.

14:41

That is amazing. First of all I just want to say thank you for sharing that incredible part of your story and that, you know, glad we're not on video because I might have been like holding down Yeah, and ugly cry. But a couple takeaways that I want to highlight for me that I heard this is one, how important it is for people in marriages to. I feel like a lot of people take that stance of like I'm just going to tough this out and tell my children or out of the home and think that that's serving the children, and I love your story and how you're sharing about it because I think more people need to hear it because a lot of people go through this but suffer through it or do it in silence but that, that it's okay to identify what's good in it and then what's not good in it. And doing that self work and then saying you know what, like it is better for our whole family for everyone involved, to not be in this marriage, and to be able to identify that and say it and then act on it, and your commitment to that year of self of you're like working on yourself before making that decision, it's just a testament, and I hope people hear that and take that in if they're going through that similar situation that they feel more confident in or encouraged to do something about it. And then the second thing is that the pain aspect, like I've already written it down like, and you said it sort of at the beginning when you were talking about like the pillars and then you said it again, talking about your personal story coming into this but recognizing that like personal growth and self care isn't always about feeling great right it's not about like the always being happy or always being healthy or always being content it's that like understanding that growth is uncomfortable, and that stepping into and leaning into either fear or unknown or pain has the potential to afford you a greater gift, on the other side of it, that it's harder to see and it's easy to like pull away from and that's what I'm hearing you say and, and the importance of accepting and embracing discomfort and pain, amidst personal growth will afford you ways to like navigate the hard seasons, not just the good seasons.

17:03

Right. And because what's true and that none of us are going to be immune to circumstantial pain. We're going to lose a loved one, we might be spared.

17:19

We may have a natural disaster, there's all sorts of reasons

17:26

for pain and discomfort that will happen that we have no control over, and it's part of that goes about getting yourself strong through the four C's of self care to learn that you may not be able to control everything but you can learn to control the way you react to, so that it softens the blow.

17:58

Yep, and that was that something I like to say to at some point says that, being responsible, but you are response, able, you know, not Yes, things are going to be out of your control, but you can control how you respond and so I do love. I think what stood out to me a lot

18:20

was your dedication in that year to make. It's almost like you're at how you're making your informed decision and things you're trying to figure out okay, who am I, what aligns

18:31

with me. How am I feeling and what is going to be the best for not only you, but then for the families in general to unhealthy ways to show you're not to those

18:43

relationships and how am I responsible for the dynamic. So it's not just like, oh, Rachel is just not being treated correctly you know I'm, it's on this other person, no it was never on that other person. And that was my mistake to think that my happiness was dependent on somebody else to do something for me. I don't control any other human being, even if they're my significant other, and even if they're my child.

19:23

Yeah, I mean, that's, and that's so true and that's what he's something I even tried to instill in my kids, you know, you are in charge from something within you can't be on these outside circumstances because that is so out of

19:41

response and we don't always get it right so then it's recognizing, okay, well, and like you said this was my mistake. This is where some shifts media

19:51

thinks you know that that's a perfect topic that's one thing that, okay, we have the premise of the four C's of health care. So one thing, When you start to practice these things, passion, and the idea of without true self compassion, we can't really have compassion for anybody else.

20:19

Wow. And how many people have true self compassion, I think, is very hard. But yeah, we're always trying to be that way for other people, or I'm always trying to instill that in my kids. But am I showing it to myself in that way. So, yeah, so good.

20:37

And I know sometimes. Yeah, like my head is sometimes not a great place to be. And are you being, are you allowing for our people to be compassionate and you talked about.

20:59

I don't know I'm trying to find

21:00

out I just kept writing words that you can say, because everything you were saying was so good but the.

21:07

I wrote consistency down to an exclamation point. Because I see this in the office a little bit, I have moms that come in and I'm going to be

21:18

a little selfish, I do think chiropractic care is a great way with like self care and that sort of thing, and tuning in with your body and mind body and so I love when moms come in, whatever stage, you know wherever their children are, But I sometimes, that the consistency drops off. And it's so important and I know it's hard, you don't want to be you know hard on yourself and knowing where these things were happening, but what are the things that you go over

21:51

that you have your four states but how do you address that consistency, and encourage that.

21:59

By not having lofty goals. For sure, because that, that is the self compassion, self by habit by shifting the mindset of, like, Oh, I didn't work out today. I'm the worst person in the world. I just ate a french fry, you know it's just like shifting them what is mindset of what if this happens, what if that happens, versus what if everything turns out wonderful. Like, oh, I didn't take a walk today versus I vacuum to the whole house today. Yes, I was working hard backing in the house today, And I put balsamic vinegar on my salad today versus the ranch or the blue cheese, you know, where, where can you find the places to celebrate your ass off.

23:02

I love that yes,

23:04

Yeah, that's the best so it's just simple flip of the script, why are we. And this is like, maybe the psychology side of it, why are we wired to think the what if or the, not the what if necessarily but like the focusing on the what I didn't do today versus what I did do today and if we focused on what we did today. What a gift. What a boost of confidence, yes how much better, do you feel, you know,

23:32

and if we did that too, then we would start treating other people that way too. And the all the things that my husband didn't do would turn into finding. Oh, what good thing that he did do, or my children or whatever you know you start to find the compliment.

23:57

I feel like somewhere along the lines is I've had children I learned with my children and I, it applies to my husband too. All right, but like if they, if things, if they're not doing something that I would love, then. And I want to talk about it or correct it or whatever first state the thing they're doing right or first state that they are doing that is pleasing, and then maybe you go into the things

24:24

that you want to talk about,

24:25

I don't know, does that apply. Oh yeah, Definitely. And nobody wants to hear about this thing that they're not going

24:42

to keep track. So if we can lead with that, then they always have a better chance,

24:51

I think. And then the other thing about that, like, it's a snowball effect to like you say, Shannon, that you write the affirmations Chinda always says this, they talk about affirmations is like you're affirming something every minute, which, what do you want to be affirming. So you can affirm that your diet sucks, or you're in a firm that today you made this choice. That was really good. One way or the other, you're always affirming that awareness and awareness is key. And that's why, when we talk like that the meditation piece, why that's so important and when we talk about meditation we of course mean prayer for people that, that are praying people or for people that can just take five minutes to just sit still. That's meditation, but finding the space between, I just had no to one of my friends she texted me after the first day of school, she was like, how did you do this with four kids. Yeah, Robbie not picking up taking here taking there, and I say well first of all I had a Jennifer and Jennifer is my babysitter she's been my printer since I started back midwifery since my youngest was like two, so the same babysitter for over 10 years. That's like, Oh, yeah. I haven't JENNIFER So, Everybody needs a Jennifer. But the other thing is if you don't have the Jennifer, you have got to take a minute in between. The last activity and the next step. If you can just find a couple of minutes to focus on your breath before you go to the next thing because it's when things just continue to run together and run together that you start to lose your mind.

27:09

So Truman, I would love for you to maybe speak to the fact, on that note I think a lot of people are struggling, or have in the past year and a half with the blurring of the lines between all the things like with taking care of kids homeschooling jobs working from home. Being a spouse, like for me I feel like I, my winds blur a lot. And so I find myself feeling, fried, by the end of the day. And so, and I know I'm not the only one, and so would you recommend, would your advice be to like take a minute, five minutes 10 minutes just sit and be still between each activity would that be beneficial. Are you homeschooling. Not right now, but we did previously, but no, we're not homeschooling right now.

28:01

Always been taking a minute in between, of course you know as much little space in between things that you can get. We're gonna get the clarity for certain things, so like for our workshops we usually do a quarterly thing so February in honor of Valentine's Day, we do a self love workshop, dedicated to ourselves. We do like mother, the mother workshop in honor of Mother's Day so like in all the way that we will be mothering our children so we parents in different ways. Whether you have a baby or a toddler, or a teenager or an adult child, you know, we have different ways that we parent them and so kind of that way, that, that kind of self taught for ourselves sometimes we do need to be beat. Sometime we just need to know that we're helping. Sometimes we need to be put in a timeout.

29:11

Yes, I've done that.

29:16

Sometimes we need to tell ourselves to just get our act out of bed and do what we're supposed to do.

29:25

So,

29:27

you know, there's, it's always dependent on circumstances, but I think, again, the, what you can do to take a few minutes, and then, in, what is it, in November, or November workshop is always about gratitude. And so I bring that up because if in the space between, then you can learn to incorporate the gratitude because, I mean, honestly, we still, for the most part, it's all first world problems, like, Kind of. There's people are having their children thrown into fires right in front of their faces. There is a trust that tea. And it doesn't mean that it doesn't tell parents to like negate what we go through because it's all important because it's our story, but if in those spaces between we can start to get some perspective, then I think there's much more gratitude than overwhelmed, to be happy.

30:29

That's so perfect because I do love Rene Brown in what she talks about because I've talked with some dear friends too about you know you have certain feelings, and you want to discuss them but you know it's personal stuff but it doesn't negate the fact that you do have these feelings and those issues and you're facing these trials and tribulations yourself. But I love, I love that you say that like, yes, you're still finding the things to be grateful for and have gratitude that can give you that bit of perspective without negating your own feelings and your own story,

31:05

right, because I think that if you can give yourself the space to have the self compassion, to let yourself throw a fit to let yourself fall apart, and not feel guilty about it. Then you move through it a lot faster, it's just, again, back to labor, if you can understand like the baby is getting ready to crown and you can relax into this, you're going to be moving through that much faster than somebody who's tensed up and fighting it. You can't help how you feel. And so you might as well just feel it, and usually get through it a lot faster and get back to that perspective of what was I doing I have everything to be grateful for. And now you also said earlier,

31:51

and

31:52

you said the word maintenance, and that pertains to me too, as far as like it's, there's not that magical destination where you're going to be like, oh I have everything figured out, and there's no, there's no room for growth right like it's. It's that constant journey and so I think we do that one time, okay, where you're going to feel the feelings, we're going to just jump on in. It maybe makes that next time, just a tad bit easier or you recognize where you are a little bit easier had is that do you go over those type of things or do you see that, yes, that's

32:30

exactly right because what you're doing is changing your brain. Changing the response you're learning that and that's why the consistency is so important, because you know it's just like anything else, if we want to see a difference in our bodies we have to exercise. And we have to eat right, and you can feel really great one day about with exercises and exercising and eating right, but if you only do that once a month, you know, you're not gonna make much headway.

33:05

Exactly, exactly. So, I would love to do something real quick. You, we talked about the four scenes. I would love to just have one little nugget of information pertaining to each of those so like maybe what is one of your favorite recipes. What is something that is helps with a good quality of sleep. Is there any one little thing that you suggest with meditation or prayer and then same thing to like something that's impactful or important with exercise.

33:39

Right, so, eat well, our hashtag is eat real food, right, so as much as you can get your hands on fresh fruits and vegetables, and less stuff that comes out of the box.

33:54

That would be wonderful.

33:58

Dark leafy greens you can never go wrong with that putting it in a smoothie. We tell our moms that all the time, make a smoothie in our binder we've been put that in the back, recipe in the back because you can get your dark leafy greens, then, and also with vitamin C, so you're going to help your iron absorption that way. We've been well, sleep is so important because your body is flushing toxins just by sleeping, so if you're not giving yourself that rest, you're not allowing your body to do its job and there's greater incidence of long term issues like dementia and what's the other one called timer house timers. Also you can get too much sleep, which is my problem. But our hashtag for that is go to bed, most people's problem is just that they like to stay up too late getting stuff done after the kids go to bed, and then doing it all over again and that's just not sustainable. And not just, again, that's like your intervention cascade. Yes, yes, well how this just overlaps into all aspects. So yeah, This is amazing. And then, exercise, move your body, that's where hashtag move your body idea about that is that there's so many different ways that you can get exercise, we're not talking about going to a gym, you can literally walk around the block we always tell our moms 15 minutes of a 15 minute mile is a great goal to have three times a week for some kind of cardiovascular exercise for pregnant moms. But like I said vacuuming, and housework that I mean you really are doing stuff being out in nature, hiking, whatever you like to do is probably the best thing. The best way to start. What do you like to do, do you like to do yoga, do you like to lift weights, start there and don't overload yourself as far as having this big long term goal but like just for the day, what do you what do you want to do. And then, meditation we take hashtag TFM and take a few minutes or take a bleeping minute.

36:34

Like if you feel yourself getting back over a while. Not gonna lead anywhere, because as it relates to good interaction with your relationships with your loved ones. So you're not only doing that for yourself but you're doing it for everybody around you to just find a couple of minutes and just sit still, no phone, no, no. Still in work gets on your breathing. And so again, it's not like you're creating this tangible or attainable meditation practice where I meditate in the morning and at night for a half an hour, that's great and maybe you might end up actually doing that because you love it so much but right now,

37:23

just in love with the meditation like I feel like to be changed by that simple to fan, and sit still, and I think most of us, most of us, not all of us, like the idea of sitting still without our phone or without a distraction is very hard. Like I said as I sit down, think about picking. So I have to retrain my brain and that I feel called to try the meditation and just sit still, a few minutes a day like truly sit still. And I think that that can be so beneficial. Yeah, and.

0:02

It just part of the forces of self care then catapult you to. Because when you're feeling good. You're doing better, so like our retreat for next year and our goals, our vision right so we do our vision. And

0:28

you guys earlier.

0:33

But anyway, one of the things on my vision board was the ocean vision boards are so cool because you put with you, you don't even really have to know why, but then you watching over the years, how those different things come up in your life is really cool. So, I have been one team to think about doing an investment property and we honestly were looking at some places up in Ellijay to do like an air b&b with, you know in that area because there's good hiking and the waterfalls and wineries and that's up there. But the truth is that I'm not really a outdoorsy type. I don't, I don't really love the woods and the bugs and stuff like that. But I do really love the ocean. And so I was like why would I be spending my energy looking at a place that I wouldn't even really love to go to. And so that's another aspect of learning to like align your life with what you love to do, that's the direction you want to be heading always because you're only here for a very finite period of time. And so always be working towards and surrounding yourself with the things that you love, with the relationships that you love, with the goals that you love to be working on with the community of people that are there to help with your growth, and that you want to help with there as well. So just a funny story about this beach house that I did just close on on Thursday in Panama City. I am so excited to be there, but also I feel it, and I didn't even know it as a continuation of what I'm doing with reconnected to life, and with birthing my midwifery. The house is on a sheet called the hilltop, and when I was there it was raining really hard, and the owner was there, and I thought, what about this flooding is there do you get much flooding you know here. And he said, You know it's funny that if you look at the other sides of the street from left to right, there's a bunch of standing water there but our house really never gets that so I like to say here when the house on the top of the hill. And I thought about the Bible verse, For me, Jesus says my main man. And that's how I like to roll, you know, Everyone has their thing and that's good but this has worked for me and so I thought of the, like, the Bible verse, and it's Matthew 514, and it says, You are the light of the world, a town built on a hill cannot be hidden and so that's what I was thinking the hilltop. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on it stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way. Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. And for me that's what my whole agenda is to help people, uncover their light, so that they can then share it to the people in their lives, and on and on and on. And so, that house is even a symbol of what I want to be doing that house on the hill.

4:37

Oh I love that my friend, I know, I know. And that's exactly what you are doing because it's like when you said when we feel better, we do better and then I think there's another part to it too because then we give people the permission to then feel better and do better because you are being that light

4:57

right and helping them find their light. Exactly, because we all have the light. So, give them self care, consistently practice will help you uncover, whatever that light is for you.

5:15

So perfect, beautiful Rachel, I do. That leads me to think so you spent that year doing the work on yourself before deciding to enjoy your marriage, and then you've now created this incredible reconnected to life organization and group for women to do the same. So my question for you is, are you still seeking that sort of personal growth mentorship or guidance, like are you feeding into yourself in that way, if so, what was that look

5:47

like, oh, I have to. Yeah, the whole reason it was started, was because I know that my mental health is best when I'm eating well, sleeping well meditating and exercising. So, to teach about it reinforces and it also continues to really make me accountable because obviously if I'm not holding myself accountable, then I can't show up for anybody else in any real world example so it doesn't work if you're not being authentic right and I struggle as much as anybody else. And I, I really do struggle with some mental health issues, I think as it relates to my period. And the hormones. And so it's something that I have started back to seeing a therapist for because it just really is like all hell breaks loose when my period comes and my self talk is completely different than it would be on any other day of the month, or a couple of days during the month, and it's a real thing. And then affects my family and my significant other and, again, it's something that I really do suffer with. But also, I am responsible for doing what I can to make it better, so that other people don't suffer because of it so I have self compassion enough to bring it to light and to acknowledge it and to, I guess, grieve about the fact that it's even there. But, I then I have a responsibility to get to work and to be as healthy as I can be. Yeah, that's great. I appreciate you sharing that.

7:55

Yeah, I love it now. So where can people find you, with reconnected to life and, and the events the workshops retreats private coaching, all of that, where can people find you.

8:11

So our website is www dot reconnected to life.com, and we have a Facebook page as well reconnected to life and also on Instagram reconnected to life. And on those are the workshops and retreats and everything listed on there. Everything is listed on there and our next event is our reconnect retreat which is September 17 And that is in Canton, Georgia.

8:43

I love all the good that you are doing for yourself, and

8:50

also for the world because we can for our local community too. I love that, like you said that was in Canton, I'm like I live in Canton.

8:59

That's so great. Yeah. Yes. I love it I love it. Any parting thoughts, Rachel harder anything that you wanted to mention today that I didn't get to as it pertains going back to something I recorded, we can we can live for midwifery or anything.

9:18

I love how we can, because this is the aligned birth podcast. And so we, how we can connect to pregnancy and the four C's of self care. But as it relates to reconnected to life and be self centered, and the idea that putting yourself first, is selfish, really debunking that idea because it really is the most important thing that if you will attend to your own self care first, that everything else falls into place so much easier. I cannot drive that home enough and I don't care what it is. I don't care if it's work related. If it's a relationship with your mother in law, if it is a relationship with your child. Like it all connects for seeds of self care, be consistent with it and just watch how your life changes in any one of those aspects of life.

10:22

Yes, that's so true. That's so, so true because self care is not selfish and we need to have some more self compassion for ourselves so that we can have self compassion for others and the world.

10:35

So believe me to get to a point where we believe that it is a non negotiable.

10:44

And I say y'all go check out or reconnected to life, and learn how they can help you and Rachel can help you achieve this because it sounds easy and like, sure I've got this but I say, you can have that framework but having the support is fundamental to reaching your goals and becoming your truest most authentic best self so definitely tap me, to me, that makes me your self care doula Beriah go. Hashtag self care doula. Yes, and it's needed, there's a doula for all, all phases of life I feel like not just birth. So yeah, there you go, self care doula we just came up with a new hashtag for your group.

11:33

Awesome. Well thank you so so much for being on with us today and check out the show notes so you can find all of the links so that you can stay connected with Rachel Hart and as always thank you so so much for listening.

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