Ep. 8 Our "Favorite Things to Purchase" for the Postpartum (Part 3/3)

Today we are wrapping up our 3-part series on “Postpartum Essentials'' by sharing our favorite “things to purchase” for the postpartum. If you haven’t listened to the first 2 parts of this series, be sure to hit pause and go listen to episodes 6 and 7. Dr. Shannon and Doula Rachael are sharing their list of must-haves for the postpartum.  This list is not exhaustive and there may be other things you need. We tried to focus on meeting your baby’s basic needs and the things that helped make that easier for us during our own experiences after giving birth. Below we have linked a few of the things we mentioned in the episode. This 3-part series has been super fun and we hope you learned a few extra things that will make your journey through the postpartum a littles easier and more enjoyable.

Childbirth Education Class: www.northatlantabirth.com/childbirth-education-class 

Co-sleeper: www.armsreach.com 

Baby Carrier (online article) - https://pathwaystofamilywellness.org/The-Outer-Womb/seven-reasons-to-not-carry-baby-facing-out.html 

This podcast was created from a desire to share conversations and interviews about topics from pregnancy and birth to motherhood and the importance of a healthy body and mind through it all.  Our goal is to bring you fun, interesting, and helpful conversations that excite you and make you want to learn more.  We hope what we share will make an impact and help someone else along their journey.  We believe that when you are aligned in body, mind, and your intuition, you can conquer anything!  If you like what you are hearing and you don’t want to miss our newest episodes, be sure and tap subscribe. Your support is greatly appreciated.

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Doula Rachael
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Transcript

Keywords:

Baby, postpartum, breastfeeding, class, sleep, learning, pump, nursing, milk, childbirth education, helped, handheld, hear, recommend, diaper, journey, birth, crib, nursery, support

0:02

Hello hello again, Dr. Shannon here, part of the Allied birth podcast and your birth site region I are going to be finishing up our postpartum Essentials series.

0:16

So, I would highly recommend listening to our first two episodes about this because there is so much good stuff in there because we talk about some of our postpartum essentials that you know, really no monetary aspect to them so you really can't find in the store but they're things that really could benefit you in that postpartum journey. And then, last time we talked about the people to have in that Postpartum Support Team, which is crucial for helping mom heal in that postpartum journey, but today we want to share just some quick things. Obviously this list is not going to be exhaustive but it's going to be things that you maybe could add to your baby shower registry are some things that you might want to have with you, tangible things that you can purchase at the store. And honestly, these are things that Rachel I've talked about back and forth of like, because she are a little advanced in our postpartum days with, you know our kiddos being a little bit older than newborn stage, and so I had a hard time kind of remembering some of the things that were very important to me but there are a few things that stuck out in my mind and so she and I were able to go through this list and say okay, what did we really really use and what helped make that journey at home and that postpartum time, like, more easy it flowed better, and what was it that I was using all of the time.

1:46

So that's kind of what we're going to talk about today. And again, the list is not exhaustive, but maybe just to give you some ideas of things to think about and research it look into it and then if you're like, ah, that's really not for me, then that is totally fine too but at least you maybe are aware of some of the things that could really help you. Yes, and I agree I was comically thinking back and I only had a few things that really stood out. And I was like the those are the things I want to share, as far as what really helped me in the postpartum.

2:19

But I do want to start by sharing about two types of classes you can take prenatally, that can really benefit you in the postpartum. So first, would be a breastfeeding class. So I come out of hospital, separate from any other like childbirth education class but breastfeeding specific, they're usually about two to three hours. Now you can probably find them online, they're great in person because it's such a physical learning experience but these days if it's more convenient to do it online, I know that that is available so the breastfeeding class that is separate from any other class just preps you for positions to try, how to get a proper latch, how to identify an improper latch, nutrition, and kind of the anatomy of how the breast works and the milk ducts and where the, the milk flows and you can learn about the different stages of milk that you produce from colostrum to mature milk, that the milk comes out. First is different than the milk that comes out at the end so the first bit of milk is more watery and the last bit of milk is more fatty and how that all affects your baby, and how to identify issues, how to find comfort right how to soothe your engorged breasts and how to get started with the first lash all those things that are kind of going off on it but there's a lot to learn, so I cover breastfeeding one on one in my childbirth education class but I always encourage us, taking a separate breastfeeding class because it can just help you get off to a good start, it can help you identify issues sooner and give you some tips for navigating that season, and I like to say and this is because it was taught to me when I was pregnant with my first and I attribute it to my ability to have a successful a long successful extended breastfeeding journey was my Doula told me she said give it 40 days 40 days. And the reason is is because it's like, it's this initial adjustment and struggle and figure you're figuring it out with us figuring it out. Like it's not always this very easy experience and it's like that 40 day mark is almost like time to get over the hump, and it was like a mental thing for me as far as like okay, I can do that, I can do anything. And then I was like I told myself I'm breastfeeding for 40 days and that's it, I kinda like was because it was so hard. I was like, Yeah, I'm good and then I got to that point and we were good, and we were able to keep going so it's just like a mental thing that helped me may not work for everybody but a little tip, but check that recipe in class. Oh yeah, I mean that was instrumental in my breastfeeding journey, because I remember taking one at work, and I used almost every light tip, trick everything that they, they taught in that class, well, and that was so I didn't think I would. I'll be honest, I went through that class and I was like, oh my god that's the last thing I want to do I don't want to breastfeed, like our digit I was like, Oh, we're getting that pump ready like I do not want to do that. I think that was my initial response, I just had a mom and the opposition say things I don't want to do this, but I obviously changed that thought process, after I had the baby and I guess you know you're just full of all those hormones, and I just remember those things from that class I was like, Oh well, they said I could do this and I could hold this way. And look at these types of things, and then that experience was so life changing with both of my kids, able to do an extended breastfeeding, and I am so thankful for that and I really do think those outside classes, set the tone and set the stage, because it was a quality person teaching it, they knew their stuff they loved it. They were encouraging, like, you know, they just, it was a wonderful, It was a wonderful class to take, so you can go from not wanting to do it at all to loving it. Well, and what I liked about that, that you said that is that the reason that is is because that breastfeeding class showed the realness and the potential challenges. And so while that intimidated you or made you feel like I don't want to do that that's an honest reaction, however that exposure, helped you navigate it, instead of not having that exposure and getting into it and being like, WTF exactly what's happening. So I think that's important to recognize is that taking and just, I feel that way about the next thing I'm going to talk about which is childbirth education class. Some people might hear what I have to say in my class and be like, no way do I want to go through this, can you please stop this pregnancy, I'm done. Thank you. But then they get into it and having that exposure while it might feel overwhelming or intimidating or whatever helps you that equips you and then shows you like the potential and even just even if a few things stick, like those tips and stuff, you're going to have a better chance of having a better experience again it's not a guarantee that it will be a perfectly smooth experience just by taking a bird out right I mean I had mastitis but I was able to like recognize what it is and then I could move the baby to nurse over here and I felt clogged up here, you know, but those tools those things it was like, oh I'm recognizing, this is an issue. Okay, yeah, it's because I took that class, and I was always one of my I did a breastfeeding class with before my first again game changer, but also learning about the awesomeness of breast milk, and how it can change based on baby's antibodies, it can help your baby wreck like before you even know they're sick, that they're already been treated with the breast milk because the baby's saliva in its that transfer transfers and it can adjust the like makeup of the milk and like learning that for me, I was like I want that for my baby, it was motivating to be like no guy no push through this because it's literally, it's amazing what your body produces and then learning about like, that's the breastfeeding person like kind of what to eat, and how to nourish your body so you can make the breast milk, but also that the baby actually the breast milk is pretty. It's almost separate like it can, the baby will get exactly what it means almost, because they've studied breastfeeding mothers in other countries that aren't as advanced as us, and their babies still get good milk. Does that make sense like it does. Yeah, so even though what put what you put in, can make it better and easier into your body, they're still cool how your breast milk can give your baby exactly what they need no matter, kind of what you're what you're doing. Anyways, I kind of went on a tangent there. I think it's super cool but definitely recommend taking that breastfeeding class and I love hearing what you said I think that really makes it real, it brings it down like it can help someone else who feels that way feel more and more. I just got to take the class and you don't want to do it doesn't mean you want to.

9:28

I think the end best indicators to breastfeeding, I hear all the time that I didn't make enough milk so I couldn't breastfeed I'm not discounting those stories at all, but the number one, number one and number two is support. So who's around you, your care providers that lactation consultant a postpartum doula support in breastfeeding your partner, your family, having support on every level is fundamental in successful breastfeeding, and then two is determination. So sticking with it, not suffering, it should not be this brutal experience so you got to listen to yourself but knowing that sticking with it getting through that initial bit of time like I said that first 40 days. So those two things combined with your own, you know, anatomy and stuff, but that's actually the least, the smallest Indic like factor that comes to success.

10:16

So yeah, that's bad on breastfeeding. So, the second class is the childbirth education class. So, I'm a childbirth educator, I obviously think that it's pretty important component to preparation, and you might be wondering, well, how can it prepare me for the postpartum so the childbirth education class so my current structure is I have four classes that focus on birth preparation and then I have two of those two of the six that focus on everything that happens after the baby's born, And that would be everything that's the beginning part of postpartum that period of time and so breastfeeding and physical recovery emotional recovery tips for navigating that time and like I said breastfeeding one on one, newborn care, soothing your newborn.

11:06

You know, all the things. And so, childbirth education it's an investment.

11:12

We I recommend an out of hospital childbirth education class because typically hospital childbirth education classes focus on giving birth at that facility and sort of like protocols versus actual like physiology of birth. So while that might be a good class to take to learn about the, the, your hospital and sort of how they do things. Taking an out of hospital childbirth education class teaches you about the, what's actually happening inside of your body what you're experiencing in late pregnancy science of labor, all of that stuff comfort techniques and all the stages of labor and support team and epidurals and pain medication like the whole thing. And then as well as the postpartum stuff so I think it can be tremendously beneficial and it's been proven, I mean it's evidence and research shows us that taking that out of hospital childbirth education class, improves overall outcomes, reduces risk necessary and increases, you know, rates of vaginal birth, reduces use of epidurals, that kind of stuff and it's not about having a natural birth, either it's just about learning about the normal physiologic physiology and then choosing what's best for you exactly your circumstances, but there's a lot of value there for the postpartum. Like I said, I spent two of my six on the postpartum and I'm always also recommending and referring and providing resources, like we for all the people and things we've said in this series, I highlight as well. In my class. Yes, I love it and I love that your childbirth education also focuses on that goes beyond that because it's all part of that because it's not just like, oh yeah baby's here and everything falls into place or that normal type of thing so I remember taking a we, I mean I wish I had taken some outside of the hospital classes but I do remember doing like the childbirth, practice like the newborn care classes have just, you know, I had never put a diaper on a baby before. So, yeah, so there was that, lots to learn. There's lots I learned glad I took that beforehand to alleviate some of that yet overwhelmed. Yes, and I highly recommend it yeah wherever if you can do if the free is do your way and that's the hospital classes and the newborn whatever it is, find the class that meets you where you're at, I say something that's better than nothing. There's a lot of stuff online now but yeah newborn classes and I think understanding how the newborn, like what they go through and the time therefore for that first six weeks like there's so much happening and how they're adjusting everything why they cry signs of hunger, how to sort of head off hunger. I love like the five S's of soothing I talk about the five S's all the time. Yeah, and in learning about that man like okay, have I tried all those things or change their diaper have I broke down like these basics that you just have your checklist to be upset. Yeah and have I not learned about that before having my baby. I was so overwhelmed and I still want again, I still felt the overwhelm and I still felt the stress that I had this like toolbox of tools exactly as I had some tools, and I think that these types of classes investing in them beforehand can help fill that toolbox, and help you prepare in a way that leaves you feeling, or having the best opportunity to have the best experience possible. And again, happy, healthy, confident mamas make for a better world and I believe that wholeheartedly and it begins in pre pregnancy, but it extends beyond the postpartum and every little bit of support along the way, I think can make a difference so investing is hours before or during pregnancy. Again, this is great if you're listening, as a, as a person supporting a friend or family member who is pregnant or if you're building your, your own registry, you can add like funding for breastfeeding class funding for a childbirth education class as part of your registry and I believe personally that that is far better than some of the other things that we might try to acquire on the registry, because I think the value extends beyond right and those dying, lifelong, and it's always hard to conceptualize that before you've had a baby or before you've been through postpartum but I think you and I sitting here having four babies between us and for postpartum it's even removed like you said several years, we have certain things that have stuck with us. And I think that is what is important is recognizing that things stick, and you want the good things to stick, and that's what we're sharing here is to try and help you have that good experience. Now speaking of things that stick because I was like I remember a few things very vividly because we were talking about our list I'm like what did you use and I was like I didn't realize how many wipes.

15:57

So that was like the one thing and I still buy them. I still use them.

16:02

I buy wipes, from Amazon and I have a five year old and an eight year old. Yeah, I have a lemonade and I still use wipes, wow, I, Yeah, that was like literally, the one thing, because it's not a one to one ratio like diapers. Diapers to white. It knew like you say, a warning.

16:22

So that was, yeah, you don't need all the diapers, but you need all the things you need, And you need them in all the locations. Yes, my, my bathrooms there. I sell my car theaters my bag, like I said my office.

16:40

They're a game changer and I buy like the set free fragrance free ones from Amazon and I get them in bulk.

16:48

They come to my door. I'm a big proponent of that because you know, if you can't get out and go by on then.

16:54

So why do you start with sort of having both you and I agree with that instantly that wives Yeah, you know, and having. They even make those waterwipes Now they're like free of all the things and again you can register for them they last a long time, I'm going to show you how it can make life just so much easier.

17:10

Exactly. Now, now what is something else that you had on your list. So I love the diaper caddy. And this, again my Doula with my first who walked into my nursery was like let me tell you what you don't need, and was like, Nina. She's like, all of this, you don't even ever give us a diverse ones these wipes, like, let's keep it simple, but anyways, she introduced me to this simple idea of the diaper caddy, and it's like a little like box with little compartments in it, it's got a handle on it, and I mean you can get an Atari, you can get them anywhere. They're not expensive and you fill it with all the things you need when you change your baby so some diapers some white some black cream some hand sanitizer, whatever you need to attend to your baby on the go, you know, from rendering from every time you change them, and I like either carrying it from room to room or I just had one set up in each room. Because for me, getting to the nursery and using the changing table every time just wasn't happening I found myself changing maybe on the floor on the bed.

18:18

Oh yeah, one of the other things that would roll up as one of those washable, like reusable Pads, Pads Yeah, yes, I would throw a handful of them so if they got dirty, I put them in the laundry and then I would have another clean one right away. And then whenever laundry got done it would get done. But I found that that was a game changer for me because I was like, I'm not always going to be in the nursery and being okay with, and not stress and having what I needed, accessible so registry wise you could add the diaper caddy, to your registry and then all the other things, kind of, you fill it with what you need, and it's really inexpensive, and I think a little bit of those like I've had, I've done this twice. You know, I promise you won't be disappointed. Yes, make the diaper cake. No, I, we did the same thing because I wasn't about to just keep going up and downstairs with, with the diverse. So, now you and I both had on our list to the Boppy or like a nursing pillow. I'm not necessarily saying, Oh, you have to get the brand specific one, but I use the Boppy that was, I mean, I love that thing. So I think that was really important just to help with that nursing journey and I would actually put other pillows underneath it so that I wasn't leaning for or compromising my posture as much either, so I would put a lot of pillows so then like baby was like really high up, but still optimal life nursing position and it's great to do all kinds of different nursing.

19:52

So, the Bobby was, I can use, I will use the bobby for tummy time, as I started sitting up for that actual support. So I found it useful in other ways beyond breastfeeding to it's just like this great little firm pillow. And, you know, the body is the common woman I know there are other brands out there so I highly recommend it. That's one I think is pretty common, it's again not very expensive, you can get a cute cover for it, get a couple covers yet get a good wash and move on, easily so in the same line is, nursing, with the bobby pillow I and I think you said this too was nursing pads.

20:37

I found the bamboo reusable nursing pads to be amazing. I bought a bunch I actually registered for Sam's I could stock up. And again these, if you're nursing pads, they are little inserts that go into your bra or your like nursing tank or whatever you're wearing, and they help you when you when you're wrestling, because they will especially in those early days as the milk is adjusting in volume, and they basically prevent you from like soaking your bra or your shirt, which there's nothing wrong if you do that, but it is just more comfortable so absorbs and then it wicks it away from your skin so it's just like a, like a feminine hygiene pad, you know, exactly, so it's good for, and if you're nursing I think that's definitely something to have now I tried the bamboo reusable ones, I just didn't like them as much so I actually went into using some disposable ones, I felt bad, but it was also there was something about the thickness and that sort of thing so like I would definitely say try different ones because I know kinds of different ones to see, okay, what's going to work best because I was going back into work as well, too so I needed something, I don't know, I felt like I just needed something super comfortable to where I was like I feel okay being out in public.

21:49

I knew I was going to capture everything for and then if you're especially out more on the go or at work, keeping up with stuff the judge take home and wash right like that's hard.

21:58

So yeah, find what works for you and then also know that they have like nighttime ones and then they have daytime ones so it at night when you're breastfeeding you tend to have a great like you might like more, because there might be more time between feedings possibly so you might have a greater build up and then you might wake up and have like soaked sheets.

22:17

So having the pad can help reduce that happening so you don't have to change your sheets or anything like that. So I think that's like, when I buy like gifts for expecting mamas I usually do like a nursing little basket and I include the pads and I usually get some nice organic NiP, like nipple cream, and then some things that you can heat up or freeze for getting relief from the engorgement or helping with clogged ducts and stuff like that so I have like a breastfeeding starter.

22:57

So, but yeah that stood out to me, I would just remember like washing them all the time was just one of the ones that I have this memory of like always having them in the laundry is really kind of hard to keep up with because they're small and tiny like but it was a little like, whoa, mesh, yeah the messy washer.

23:18

Now I will say this, I guess part of the things that you're going to have on here are going to be dependent upon what your life is going to look like.

23:28

Postpartum as in like, are you going back to work. Are you staying at home because I know you and I had very different experiences with that too. I went back to work after both of my kids so and I had established that nursing journey so I had a pump that I needed to pump and that, I mean, that thing was attached to me. I was there every three hours.

23:49

Yeah, one year with my first and one year with the second so there was that whole aspect to it. Now I will say this the pumps are either they're advanced now, I mean I had a really good one I had in the Gila like pumping style, and I loved it, but there were so many things I learned with that like, there's the tubes and I had to keep it running to keep the condensation out of the tubes and the phalanges and those needed to be changed if I could notice that the nun enough milk was coming out like all of these things were just part of the learning process with the pump and so that's where again the last episode we talked about people, some of the people that are helpful, are those lactation consultants that really helped with that company understanding. Yeah, learning how to use a pump, when any such a, I just will never forget. It was my first, and I didn't get a pump, I got a handheld when I was like an emergency like I didn't know what kind of emergency I would need where I'd be out and I'd need to hand express milk. I had one. And but I didn't want to spend the big bucks on me after the pump Yeah, because I was just nervous and I didn't know, and I made my husband go out and buy one, I think, like, day three postpartum because I had so much milk and I was trying to regulate things, and it was, it was part of that. So I think it's just a good thing to think about before and look at what you want sometimes insurance will buy and if you do their shirts beforehand, it's a regular there's things that go with it so that was like all the bottles, I washed bottles. I'll never forget when I didn't have to wash bottles anymore. I mean there are bottles everywhere so a drying rack is very like bottle brush or, like, oh yeah the bottle brush, and all of those things in the little, the bottle sterilizer everything that pumping bags freezer space how to store them like I'm telling you, there, there is a whole, there's a whole thing to it, a pumping bra like you did hit the like a hands free bra was amazing so that's just part of looking at what is that journey going to look like afterwards and how can you circle yourself. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and I was, did not mean to cut you off right there but I was trying to agree for a minute later that like preparation beforehand, of like, what, what pump can I get does insurance cover in the class, though, you know, and I know it sounds overwhelming when you list out all at one time but just take it one little thing at a time, and know that you'll figure it out but know that it is a learning curve, like he said, You know what, sorry but you know what's more overwhelming, is to be three days postpartum completely in gorge, as a new your husband to the store to get money, so just so you know that no yeah if you can.

26:30

And I say get the, I like to recommend get the electric pump, and get a handheld, because I think there are moments, like I had greater success with the handheld than I had with an electric. And I used to handheld when I was because I was a doula for my second, and I was actually I was still pressing Everett, so my first, and I was still, I was doing doula work which meant I was possibly away from away from them. Yeah, and you can't really be in someone's laboring room and using an electric press or awful sound. So I would use a handheld but I can always get more out of my breast, with a handheld and faster than with an electric and so I ended up just using the handheld whenever I get the pop. So, you know, again showing the variations and but I like to say get both because the handheld is not expensive. No, not at all. Yeah, you can have both and try both and then on the go, sometimes the handheld is easier, I had a car charger.

27:34

I mean, you know, parked in many places and found and got set up and drove I don't know if you're supposed to do that but good for you. Good for you. But you got to do figure it out but if you walk it it might sound overwhelming but you figure it out and you walk through it now and it's still gonna be hard to prepare but, again, have some tools on hand, knowing who to call if you're having trouble, just thinking about what your postpartum looks like and planning accordingly and because everyone's different.

28:07

And also what the bottles is don't go all in on one bottle, like, try a few different models before, because every baby is different and so have some options and then which one, whichever one your baby does good on and stick with that one.

28:23

And yeah, so just, yeah, people will give you bottle recommendations, all day long, because they'll swim for them this way work for them, I say yeah, pick a few and go with it, because yeah,

28:38

but I think that's really, really great advice and I had one other thing to share and that was because I think it's important to consider just like all these other things we've talked about like consider.

28:50

Like we've said with where you're going to diaper your baby where how we're going to breastfeed how you're going to breastfeed if you're doing that right pumping going back to work all that just considering things that you know will happen. Part of that is also considering sleeping arrangements for your baby safe sleep is very important to think about and know sort of what is best for baby. And as well as they like your setup and your home, everyone is different. So, considering sleep different sleep spaces and so I'll just give some examples and then I will say what we did.

29:23

So you can't sleep with your baby in the room so that's called Sleeping in with the baby that's not that's not co sleeping with the baby in the bed with you which again you need to research, safe sleep I'm not getting into that today, but knowing what's recommended and having achieved that if you want the baby in the bed with you sort of had to achieve safe sleep space in that regard, but then again having the baby in the room in a pack and play or in a crib, but within earshot, or I shot so you can kind of hear what they need or if they're hungry or or crying or whatever, that is recommended to have a baby in the room for the first year, if possible, but, again, that doesn't work for everybody.

30:08

And then you can have like we had a co sleeper, so it was this attachment to the bed. But the baby was not in the bed with us and the brand is arm's reach, so I'll link it and you can check it out I think it's great, super smart because it keeps the baby nearby, you can hear them you can feed them easily, but then they sleep safely on a firm, free of anything surface which is is recommended. Or, then you have the nursery with a crib in it.

30:34

And based on where how your home is set up maybe that works best, and you have the baby in their own sleep space in their crib, so I say all that to say, well, I'll share, we spent a lot of money on a crib. And we didn't use the crib until like, 12 months in.

30:51

So it's like think about the sleep space, think about what's going to work for you guys and be willing to try different things because I think it looks different for everybody, but where are your baby sleeps matters because they sleep a lot. In those first bit of time and you want to make sure it's safe, you want to be sure that it meets the whole family's needs. And so yeah like I said we did the co sleeper and I thought, and I did that with a second, and thought it was a game changer because everyone's, you know, and I, I had to have. I just couldn't sleep with the baby in the room with me I guess I heard all the different topics I'm reading all of it and I am so hypersensitive to that. But I would just lay there and I'm like I'm not even sleeping, so it's not that I didn't want to hear my baby had issues but that is normal for their breathing respiration pattern to change to fluctuate so it's kind of, it was a little bit too much for me so we used the crib from the get go, and then I would get up every time I needed to nurse and then I would sit in the chair in the room there and nurse and it just kind of that back and sleepless, you know, back and forth aspect of friends, but that worked really well for our family and we have a small upstairs, we kept the doors open like I could hear everything, you know, it just is what works for you know I would nap with the baby. You know, so I would nap with them, because I would nurse and I love the central motor decision on. Yeah, but it wasn't that like established sleep. So, but in that aspect of things, knowing that okay, you are going to go to the curb, I mean that nursing chair was very important for me because I use that as well so it's, and sometimes you're not going to know what's gonna work best for you until you're in it, and you're sleepless and 3am and you're feeding again you're like well this ain't gonna work. So, but it's also realizing research some of the little things, you know, and so that way you at least have an idea of, of options that this is an option, exactly, but it doesn't have to be that way. Again, sleep is another one of those things people will share lots of advice and swear by a certain method or, or no method at all or, or that there may be slept through the night at eight weeks or whatever. My husband used to be, neither of mine slept through the night until they were over a year, and my husband people would always set him to be what we heard the most is that oh my newborn slept through the night, they know why that like, it's like a benchmark for people to really be like that's not us.

33:28

But, again, you're here at all. And so don't feel.

33:32

Don't feel shame don't beat up on yourself if one person did it in one way I got different results just, again, learn about how babies sleep, learn about safe sleep, you know, consider your own unique environment, and do what works for you, and know that you can take care of your baby better than anybody and that just because one thing work for someone doesn't mean it works for you. Consider these tips to set yourself up for success, and enjoy you and then reach out for help, ask people their centers, right, like, I'll never forget I reached out to a, like a, I know she considered herself like a gentle, flip consultant, because I kind of got to my wit's end around, like, 12 months with my youngest, and was we were struggling, I'll just say that, and there was a gentle approach and I haven't I've reached out to her professional, I, I didn't like asking for advice for that kind of stuff because it just led to stress, and shame and I didn't always want to try what they're recommending I felt like I wanted to be more, I don't know.

34:33

It just wasn't comfortable for you. Yeah, and then I found get recommended to this person again. And I guess that's another person I didn't mention but as a sleep consultant and that's not sleep training because I'm not necessarily again this this is a different topic, But I'm not huge on there like hardcore sleep training but some people are. Anyways, I found this great holistic, gentle, sleep consultant and all I did was she just consulted with me she didn't like tell me what to do but she helped me process, I was actually having some more emotional mental barriers than were actually getting in the way of us having healthy sleep, and she helped me actually it was almost like a therapy session. And after that, we, we had babies that were sleeping through our mind and this was like going through the night so how neat, but it was kind of identifying a need and reaching out for that professional help, which is I that actually make some think about, you know, sleep, sleep consultants and not again for sleep training but just for again helping Yeah, because that is such a, I mean that's one of the biggest things if parents are always saying oh my god you sit through the night at this age, well then we know and that seems to be a benchmark well then we know that that is like something that's important, you know, like, yes. So, I mean it makes sense that we could add that person there. Yeah. Now this list too. I mean obviously you need diapers. I mean there's some other things on here that like, I mean I guess we didn't specifically say, but there's, close, close to the good things like that, but some of the ones that I guess stuck out to us, and I have just one other one would be a carrier that can be nice for mom to be hands free. There are so many different types they can evolve into from forward facing reefer like all of that type of stuff, but, um, that's a really great way to get things done. I will say, well, where I was at in my motherhood journey was I used a lot of those little vibrator seats and swings and that type of stuff to get things done, but I do wish I had maybe tried to wear my babies a little bit more to get things done and just to have them all in me and closer to me and just ergonomically sound, but just one day that's awesome and the reason we've been able to vibrating and bouncing betweens and living swings is because babies have been in the womb for nine to 10 months, they've heard your heart. Russian fluids, they've, they've felt your heart, they're connected to do and so, and movement, they've been moving for that whole time and so they usually feel more common and peace when they're near you, they hear your heart feel your heart smell you, and have that movement combined and you can achieve all that with babywearing and I'm so glad you mentioned that because I don't know how that didn't pop out in my mind. I babywearing I did the, the ring sling with Yes, that's a core blue ring sling with Everett and then I did the Tula baby Jerry which I found it a bit more comfortable than the ring sling for my second, and then we did the backpack carrier, when they were a little bit bigger, and I would like vacuum my house with the kids in the backpack carrier because I can get things done. But while it is about getting things done, it is also about meeting basic needs for the baby so baby wearing actually can help your baby feel have better rates and temperature and heart rate and breathing, and just feeling more safe and protective. Yeah. And that's how I looked back on it, you know, yeah, I was able to get things done in house and cook meals when they were in the middle seat and stuff they've got to sleep but I do wish that maybe, you know, I had tried a little bit more care. And there's it's hard to find the ones that were used to just so you know it's not just so easy sometimes to with like, Oh, you do this, I'm like, this is that like 18 feet of straps and I don't know how to tie it here and, or the wraps, like, 18 feet long and you don't yeah, maybe I mean, I think, maybe wearing can be intimidating so you could research it they have babywearing classes. Yes, there's lots of YouTube videos like you can find a few that you think you like and then watch a YouTube video of like how to put it on and how it works like that helped me so I watched tons of videos for using the rings link that was like a foreign thing to me. And so, yeah, learn about it practice, be patient with yourself, research the benefits and yeah, find what works for you and no shame and if you don't want to do it, I'm a no that does carry some benefits, you know, physiologically and and for getting things done to it's a win win and breastfeeding and express we can just basically compress me to the carrier and I'm so glad you mentioned that because that's a great tip.

39:27

And then I think the other tip is to, you want the carrier that supports the baby's hips in a way that they're kind of in like a froggy position. So like the knees are. Yes, I read a great article I can put in the show notes. And it's, you know baby wearing tips and that sort of thing. Okay, good. So, and that'll be some fun stuff to add there just to help combat some of that overwhelm. Yeah, just learning about it and talking about your options. That's a great, great last one to end with this has been fun, it's gotten me excited I'm like oh I want to like share more but I know I was like well maybe there's more things. There's always more. But this has been a fun, kind of what worked for us what we tried and tips.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai